#hi i just want to share these bc i havent done real writing in
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earlgreytea68 · 11 months ago
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i dont actually know the general consensus on I Am My Own Muse but to me it very clearly feels like pete addressing the fans directly - almost like a conversation? like the opening lines "here i am not sure you should take a chance. I like playing dumb letting you figure me out" basically completely summarises petes relationship with us during the early parts of this era. His uncertainty coming back but also the way he likes to keep us on our toes (like hes always done). His constant surprise that even one person appreciates his art. His odd fourth-wall-esque relationship w us - he always knows more than he lets on. like. these are crazy opening lines.
Especially looking at other songs petes addressed to us (namely thriller and our laywer). Those songs still feel like petes putting on a persona for our benefit. Hes talking to us through the mask he thinks we'll like best - but for his benefit not ours. In those songs he still wants to show his appreciation for the fans but hes afraid to be vulnerable about it. He hides behind tongue and cheek self deprecation (put this record down, we are bad news, we're only good to have almost famous friends... that whole song tbh) or like implication of rejection/disaster (we r not making an acceptance speech, car crash hearts, only thing i havent done yet is die) and its all glitz and distraction bc thats what he does. he will tell us their hearts beat for the diehards but not before telling us why its a bad idea. its defensive from the get go but in Muse he doesnt do that. yes he defends himself but his tone is balanced between resigned and resolute. its stripped down to just his own thoughts voiced aloud. it feels so much more genuine despite how much vaguer in address it is.
Also the general theme of this song is feeling hidden/secret (e.g. the angels didnt know his name, him feeling faded, feelings were tucked away) but trying to draw attention anyway(throw the year away, smash all the guitars, drop a bomb on things we care about) even if its hard/painful (twist the knife again, trying to keep it together).
This coupled with the title is a perfect representation of his journey as an artist in this era no? The vulnerability hidden in old songs and spoken word poems that he relives each night of the tour. An amalgamation of every little moment he created and tucked away is reborn on stage. And who has he shared this particular journey with??? The fans. It was us who he finally trusted with his works and words in the shows and we sang them back at him. Patricks journey alongside pete has felt more obvious bc of his whole demeanour but its pete who wrote his heart out to us. I think this song is a way of pete kinda of juggling this idea in his head before it ever took shape in thw real world. A way of connecting back with his audience. Not as an act of nostalgia but as moving on together. its a gorgeous song and it feels like a love letter to us in the very oarticular way a love letter from pete wentz feels like. its not soft or even sweet but it leaves you feeling comforted and stronger anyway. its solidarity yk.
ANYWAYS thats my ramble for today hope it was worthwhile <33 i really had to get that one out otherwise i may have exploded. can you tell smfs as an album and an era is my baby. sorry this is such a long one lol. hope you r having a great day :)
Awwww I *love* this. I *adore* "I Am My Own Muse" and I always have and I love everything you say about it. To write a song that sounds like that and then call it so deliberately "I Am My Own Muse," like, that we are there and ever-present but in the end he's got to come from his own authentic place. And it's like his instinct is to play a little coy and not be so vulnerable, but also he just wants to scream so someone hears him: Smash all the guitars 'til we see all the stars, like, he's screaming so that we will all see. He's trying so hard to keep it together, keep it together, so smash all the guitars 'til we see all the stars, because we are all in it together, and throw the whole year away and start fresh.
Look, i am Peterick all the way, we all know, and I think I've even used lyrics from this song in a Peterick fic, but in my secret heart of hearts, if you really ask me to be serious, what do I think Pete Wentz is writing about........I kinda think he's always writing about us.
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fan-kingdoms · 2 years ago
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HI HELLO. i have a multitude of things to tell you (but really just like. two), first and foremost of which is HELLO and HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? feels like its been a while whoo (you commented on my last merlin post but i haven't come up with a reply dhfbfjf. ur right tho)
SECONDLY. have u watched nimona. im asking THIS mainly bc ik we both like she ra and thats by nd stevenson, who also did nimona (the original comic anyway), and the movie absolutely DESTROYED ME when i watched it last night and i was wondering if youve seen it too. if not u should its very good and will likely make you cry
THIRDLY. thirdly!!! i finally finished a fic!!! not the big batshit insane 24k one but the little smaller one i had going next to it!!! i still need to like. do some revising and editing before posting it but its done!!! the last sentence has been written!!! asfjfkbfkfnf!!!
okay yeah thats about it i just had Things i wanted to Share. hope ur doing well !!!!
HELLO HELLO ITS BEEN A WHILE I HOPE YOURE WELL!! IM DOING OKAY I MEAN ITS SUMMER BREAK AND IM WORKING A JOB I KIND OF HATE ! BUT ITS FINE IM VIBING real estate is just not my thing (my mom is training me to become a junior realtor LMAO)
I HAVE HEARD A LOT ABOUT NIMONA I JUST HAVENT GOTTEN AROUND TO WATCHING JUST YET I WILL EVENTUALLY THOUGH!!
AND OMG!!! VERY PROUD OF YOU CONGRATS ON FINISHING A FIC! the hardest things about writing (i think) are the Starting process and the ending, and it’s awesome that you’ve made it to the end!! that massive 24k one isn’t far behind i believe in you <3
thank you for sharing :D it’s always good to hear from you!!
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bluebeetle · 4 years ago
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honestly since its on my mind here is my rankings of jason ships off the top of my head:
jayt1m, bruj4y, j4ydick,j4ydami, jayt4lia, jaysl4de: theyre bad scoob. inc3st and p3do shit galore; jayt1m woulda been more bearable if tim hadnt been adopted right before jay came back, but still has issues esp re: how jay acted towards tim and tim being a minor while jay is an adult, ableit one very close to his age. tbh i dont trust anyone who likes any of these for obvs reasons. anyways jay has a rly interesting dynamic with all of them except slade tbh and making it romantic ruins it for various reasons, but also bc family is SUCH a driving point for jason!!!! 
jaybabs: i am so tired of DC putting babs with every man they can lol. she deserves better. anyways i dont like it, the few interactions we see with babs and jay prior to him coming back have very older babysitter-like energies, she is supposed to be older than dick (who was already 18 when jay was 12!!) and has known him since he was a child its a weird age gap and they rly dont have a lot in common other than a shared trauma over the joker. its not good and does a disservice to what could be a good platonic relationship that could allow them to heal, esp jay. 
jayroy: i prefer them as friends. they have such good energy with jay as roys’s friend’s little brother who somehow became his friend but as a romance its kinda dull to me, and im not the biggest fan of their age gap 
jaydonna: only ogs will remember when DC tried to push that jay-kyle-donna love triangle on us lol thanks dan didio. honestly its not the worst, i could maybe see it, but donna being around dicks age still makes it a lil weird and the love triangle sucked. donna deserves better, but hey, its better than donnas canon husband tho! 
jaysionis: no comment.
jayanita: yes this exists it appears in 1 issue of the young justice comic during the world without young justice storyline. in this jay is about 18 and alive, with something akin to his pre-crisis backstory. hes shown to have been in a relationship with anita, who i believe is around 16-18 and then he dies lol. would be interesting to see them meet in normal canon but anita hasnt appeared since like 2007 and who knows how old she’d be now with the wonky ages. has potential ig but its in a grey area. 
jayrose: i feel like they have potential BUT it is ruined by the fact that it only ever seems to exist with them already together and interested in each other, with basically no build up or real chemistry as a result. it feels forced and more like out of a necessity to pair people up. they could have a fun dynamic, esp around damian but it feel like its never done right, and often at rose’s expense
jaykyle: their ages are vague due to varous timeline fuckery in DC but i always assumed they were both roughly college age by the time they interact, with kyle being a lil bit older . has a lot of potentiall imo but they havent interacted much in so long. got that sorta bad boy x tortured artist thing going on i like it.
jayconnor: tbh i would love to see them interact more. i feel like this is the superior jay/archer ship tbh tbh. i think it could rly work esp bouncing off each other with their different personalities but they still have a lot in common. they def should interact more now that connor is back in the comics.
jaysteph: speaking of ppl who need to interact more... DC has fucked with their ages a bit since they want to age up jay but not age up steph, so that is an issue, however originally they were only about a year or two apart (since jay is a few months younger than cassandra cain and steph is older than tim by about a year). they have a lot in common with their backstories and their roles in the batfamily so i think it could b cute! much better jay/batgirl ship than babs tbh... would love to see them just TALK. also funny to imagine jay rubbing it in tims face.
jaytemis: i rly like artemis and can see potential in this one so i really do like it! however scott lobdell is NOT the one who shoulda been telling their story and thus they suffer from his writing heavily imo. has a lot of potential and is def my fave bat x amazon ship.
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notveryglittery · 5 years ago
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so @/dysaniadisorder​ posted this really cute zoom moxiety art and then i posted some selfies in a discord server and the reactions from that + this moxiety art got me feeling even more Fluffy than usual so here’s a very rambly au that i stream of consciousness wrote in half an hour lol 
idk about anyone else, but i had a pen pal through english class in middle school for a little while. so what if, patton and virgil meeting through being pen pals. patton's letters are as bubbly as his stories, he includes stickers on the pages and the envelope, and uses *so many* exclamation marks. virgil meanwhile, tends to write very little and mostly just in reaction to whatever patton said. because sure, the letters are sent to the school and they've been told not to give away personal information, but y'know... Just In Case.
except for one towards the end of the program, when patton really doesn't want to lose contact with virgil, so he shares his instagram. and he says no pressure of course i dont even know if you have an instagram but here it is if you ever wanna try to keep talking. and bc roman's his best friend, of course virgil has instagram (ugh). so of course he checks patton's profile. and oh *no* he's as cute as his bubbly handwriting and his stories and stickers and exclamation marks
virgil's never really mentioned this whole pen pal thing to roman, because roman's english teacher did not sign her class up for it and he knows roman would be jealous. but he made the mistake of checking patton's profile in roman's presence and if anyone's going to notice a Gay Panic™, it's roman
so of course roman grills virgil and virgil caves bc like what?? else is he gonna do?? but anyway, roman hits the follow button for virgil but then virgil throws his phone across the room and breaks it so can we get an f in the chat
meanwhile patton's studying with his step-brother logan when he gets a little chime from his phone and? oh a new instagram follow that's neat, who's [insert cool username for virgil]? except of course virgil's profile is private so patton has to follow back to see any photos. except virgil's phone is busted! bummer
cue virgil not getting a new phone for a week or two bc idk he's in trouble for breaking the old one to begin with and by the time he finally does get a new one, he totally spaces on installing instagram. so it's like a month and a half later when roman asks him why the heck he hasn't been liking roman's pictures that virgil remembers. and then he also remembers patton. *oh god patton* how could he ever forget, he is a fool, and patton probably hates him now, or he must be super worried, bc the pen pal program is over so they havent been writing and then he just disappeared off the face of the planet which?? well patton should have expected it a little because he did say it would be okay if virgil didnt want to keep in contact but *oh god patton*
virgil installs instagram and finds patton's follow request (and like 32 comments from roman demanding that virgil like his photos what kind of best friend is he smh)
and he accepts it 
and then while he's still riding his bravery high, he messages patton "hey it's virgil" and then Very Calmly sets his phone down before screaming into a pillow
meanwhile patton's busy cheering logan on at his swim meet but this does mean that he's posting all sorts of encouraging cheesy stuff to his story which means virgil is already getting a sneak peak into patton's life and wait oh my GOD is that his voice???????
virgil is very gay and he is having a Time
anyway patton also almost breaks his phone when he sees the follow request approved *and* the message!!! because lowkey , he considers virgil a pretty close friend!! he vented in some of those pen pal letters! said some things he couldn't bring himself to say to anyone else. and virgil was always so patient and kind and reminded him of all the good things to help and balance out the bad things.
so y'know, fast forward thru lots of instagram interactions. messaging each other late into the night. virgil always liking patton's photos and leaving a single "💜" comment on every one. they talk about roman - and how he's virgil's best friend and he may be dramatic and loud but he's reliable and genuine - and they talk about logan - and how patton wouldn't know anywhere near as much as he does w/out him and how they have sleepovers in the basement every saturday.
and fast forward to moving on from instagram to discord, and joining servers of fandoms they're both in. making a server for themselves + roman + logan (and *oh boy,* introducing roman and logan). sending silly memes and posts that "made me think of you", late night texting that ends with one sending the final “i guess you fell asleep, sweet dreams <3″ message, and the other sending the “oops i did, good morning <3″ message in return 
and sure, roman might post pictures on instagram of himself and virgil, but virgil's always half-in half-out of frame or he's blurry or he's looking away. and so one day, he posts a selfie in their friend server because he's just got his hair dyed purple and he's *so excited* and patton. patton didnt even have time to prepare can we get an f in the chat
there are a LOT of keysmashes and hearts lol
roman is still laughing by the time patton manages to calm down. patton sort of flat out demands for a group video call aljsdf
logan and roman, all this time obviously because they can't be out done, have already had plenty of personal voice and video calls themselves. sometimes it's just to help roman run lines or help logan study for a test. but they have been on the receiving end of patton and virgil gushing about their respective crushes so they're in full support of this tbh
so they set up a group video call that night, roman and logan like immediately muting themselves bc let's be real we all know the real reason behind this. patton is gushing about virgil and virgil's hair like, right off the bat, and virgil is slowly but surely disappearing into his hoodie and the lighting in his room isn't very good, but gosh patton is *melting* and then
and THEN
patton pauses to finally drink out of his cooling hot cocoa and virgil takes the opportunity to clear his throat and sit up a little out of his hoodie cocoon and says thank you
and y'all we thought virgil was all Gay Panic™ when he saw patton's face in photos for the first time? and then he broke his phone when roman followed patton for him?
patton does a spit take and chokes on his hot cocoa and kind of maybe shorts out his laptop ajsdkjhsf
because we gotta go full circle baby
roman disappears from view on his camera because he just rolled off the bed he's laughing so hard
you know logan definitely anticipated this, so he's been on best buy's website this whole time, ready to find laptops on sale / schedule an appointment to get patton's laptop fixed
and uuuhhhh yeah :) pen pals to friends to lovers long distance moxiety, with background probably-qpr logince because that's the Vibe i'm getting. with bonus best friends prinxiety and familial logicality!! thanks for reading :D 
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xnchxntmxnt · 4 years ago
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HEY HEY HEY @shirari TOOK ME THIS LONG BUT I GOT YOUR MATCHUP DONE WOOHOO HERE YOU GO the ask deleted so im just gonna paste the information below the cut
Hiya! I'm [Hikari] :) My pronouns are she/her. September Virgo and INFP-T. I prefer a male as my s/o I describe myself as an understanding individual no matter what situation. Even the bare minimum, I would bombard questions about the small matter lol. I lack showing emotions, but I do occasionally and it's very random. Overall, I'm a very supportive friend who doesn't have many opinions. You want to do it? Go for it. Unless it's something illegal then I'll call the police lol. I like drawing, obviously. I also LOVE reading some good fanfics or actual books. I stream kpop music videos while I do my business as well. My friends describe me as kind, quiet and mysterious. They also say I'm quite talented and smart. I tend to have a soft spot for people who share the same interests as me. They know art and tend to have the same music taste as me. An extroverted boyfriend would be a good dynamic for me as an introvert. I like someone taller than me, should be no problem cuz I'm short at the height of 5'1 wnnjskaks If anyone judges me for liking BTS and haikyuu, please get out of my life. I'm so done with you. Random fact? When being in a relationship with me, it also means dealing with the most questionable things at 2am. I'm weird. My aesthetic is soft girl, cottagecore and Gothic! Favourite song is Celebrity by IU Colour I would describe myself with is Blue or pink Favourite artist. Like I said, BTS lol
sooo i talk more about why later, but I'm going to match you with...
Oikawa Tooru!
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How It Started
This is a real y/n moment here but y’know its really cute so i love it
Yes im doing this
You were the one person that wasn't constantly all over him
And he didn't know how to feel about that (so he decided to make you fall for him while also falling for you in the process)
He was like “yeah all these girls that absolutely adore me? I want the one that doesn’t care”
It was less you didn’t care, you just didn't wanna get in the way because so many other girls were interested him
You assumed you had no chance
Until he was leaving chocolates in your locker
Roses, never signed from anyone
But it seemed almost daily you were finding more things in your locker
(Thank Mattsun, he helped)
One day you were after school for some club thing that only ran like once a month
He didn't know this
So he was at your locker after practice, around the same time your club was over
You’d forgotten a book you needed for homework in your locker
And he was there, sliding a love note in your locker
You saw him and he saw you and the both of you just
Stared for a moment
He was shocked and flustered and had no idea what to say
So (more awkward than you've ever seen him act) he walks up to you and hands you the letter
Smiles (while his face is BRIGHT red) and just walks away
Just know that he started SCREAMING when he got outside and Mattsun, Makki, and Iwaizumi barely had any idea what he was saying because he was so embarrassed
Shocked and embarrassed yourself, you read the note to see what he was freaking out about
And it read (bc I’m a sucker for writing love notes)
“Hi, Hikari,
It’s been...way too long and I havent found the words to say this yet. I hope this doesn’t seem weird or anything. It probably is. Sorry about that.
But I've taken a bit of a liking to you over the last couple weeks, and I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me this weekend? I was going to make some sandwiches and we can have a picnic at the park, if you want! If that’s not your idea of a good time, no worries, we can do something else!
Anyway, I--yeah, here’s my number. I won't take offense if you say no. Really, no worries! Have a great rest of your day!
~Oikawa Tooru”
To say you were now even more shocked was an understatement
Btu here you were
Reading a love letter
From mr. pretty-boy-of-seijoh
Oikawa tooru himself
Now what??
No, now you go on the date and you have fun and then marry him
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General Headcanons
Can i tell you how much he loves you like seriously
You probably tease him about his confession and then he gets all embarrassed about it
But then pulls some suave line about how he’s glad he did it anyway because he loves you
Now its your turn to be a little embarrassed
The team loves you almost as much as they love iwaizumi
Because you’re known as the oikawa wrangler
And its funny as hell
But yeah the first years don't really know how to talk to you but they think you’re cool, the second years are happy oikawa shuts up when you tell him to, and makki and mattsun LOVE YOU
Like legit
And theyre constantly trying to pull you into their shenanigans
And they get the Dad Look from Iwa like “leave her alone she’s here to watch the practice game not be your accomplice” and they get frowny and go do something else
But back to tooru
He’s very elaborate and perfectionistic in what he does
In everything he does
Which means when he plans dates, you know it’s going to be fun
When your birthday is coming up, he makes a HUGE deal out of it
Even the little things he does are always calculated and thought about beforehand because he wants to make sure he’s the best boyfriend possible for you
Sometimes that means that hes going to stress himself out and you have to remind him you love him for him, not for a facade, but still
All the gifts
So many gifts
Specifically food
They're not even all from him
Takeru thinks you're super cool and will make you things from time to time (you have so many pasta necklaces from him) (and pictures he drew)
Tooru’s sister makes you things from time to time
Like if tooru is babysitting and she knows he and Takeru are going to see you, she’ll make cookies to bring along
Safe to say the whole Oikawa family loves you a l o t
Tooru himself, though, buys you a lot of stuff too. Sometimes its a keychain he thought was cool, other times it’s extra food because he technically bought it for him but he got some extra so that you could share
Sometimes he goes a little more elaborate but usually he just likes giving little things that will remind you of him
Totally lets you wear his jersey
Like makes comments about it
Leaves it out for you
Wants you to wear it tbh
He thinks you look so good w it like expect this man to d i e the first time you wear it
Gives you his alternate jersey for games because he wants you to wear it
Calls you every pet name in the book (that youre comfortable with)
Like
You rarely hear him actually say your name
Its very very uncommon
Instead its just “sweetheart” “darling” “dearest” “angel” “love of my life” “cupcake” yes he would 100% call you cupcake
Seijoh loves you, they really do, they just hate that their captain becomes to irritating and just lovesick when he’s not with you
Bottom line he’s a simp
Tell him you love him, give him a kiss, he’s yours forever
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A Date With Oikawa
I don't know how you feel about this because some people love it and others hate it with a burning passion
But bear with me here
We know how stressed out oikawa gets
And besides volleyball
I think he does coloring books
Like he just has piles of them in his room with a crap ton of pencils and markers and pens
So one day he’s stressed but you guys were supposed to have a at-home date
So he just tosses his coloring books on the floor and his like gallon sized freezer bag of colored pencils
And says "i need a distraction we’re doing this today” and you two just do that
Eventually he gets to talking a little about why hes stressed out and overall its really fun to just
Vibe in the quiet
He puts on music or smth
But yeah coloring books i think this would genuinely be a fun date
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Zodiac/MBTI
So all three of these guys (pair + runners up) are super compatible for zodiacs AND theyre your perfect matchup for MBTI (all being ENFJ or ENTJ), so safe to say, you’re doing pretty well. I picked tooru because a) you love him b) i thought the vibes would work the best.
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Aesthetic
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Playlist
You guys give me very,,,sweet acoustic vibes. Not slow songs but like Peaceful I like it (also i don't think i've listened to this much kpop in my life while writing this wow--not that that's bad thing it's beautiful i just never got into it before)
Way Back Home - SHAUN with you - The Rose Don’t Wanna Cry - SEVENTEEN Butterfly - BTS Vacation - Gaeko
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Runners Up
Futakuchi Kenji, Sawamura Daichi
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scandeniall · 5 years ago
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mirrors for friends //ch.5
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| prev | next | masterlist
wc: 1741
pairing: TBD x reader
notes *this is the version of the song they cover 
chapter 5: We drive, We Film
The music is blaring when Atsumu pulls up. He's bobbing his head along to the guitar, hardly sparing you a glance as you slide into the passenger seat. Despite that, you offer a quick greeting as the car speeds off before you even finish putting your seatbelt on. You nod along to the familiar song as the two of you shoot through the street, 
“And I don't care if you're sick, I don't care if you're contagious,” you begin Atsumu chiming in matching your pitch.  
“I would kiss you even if you were dead” “Would somebody make me go blind for the rest of my life, cause I’d do anything to hold your hand.” 
You find your hand hanging out the window as you two sing along to the rest of the song. Once it ends, Atsumu lowers the volume, enough to have a conversation. “I see ya changed from a sweaty slob and are now looking better.” You roll your eyes at the bassist, and had he not been driving you probably would’ve resorted to slapping the back of his head. “Why do I willingly hang out with you. And, where are we going anyways?” You question, remembering your promise to Iwaizumi
 You ignore his comment about you clearly not having any other friends as you send a message to Iwaizumi confirming your location. You let out a little laugh at Iwaizumi’s complaint about the blonde always running his plans, before locking your phone. “Who ya texting?” Atsumu takes his first real look at you for the night as he slows at the red light. “Iwa, just telling him if I die tonight it's all your fault.Your driving fucking sucks” You follow up the sentence flicking off your friend who looks unbothered. 
“Speaking of our dear Iwa, you know something that me and Kuroo don't.” Your eyes widen just the tiniest bit as he grants you a knowing smirk. “But I’ll let that go for now. How's the tattoo healing?” Just like that Atsumu’s voice shifts into a more serious tone and you groan loudly. You instantly catch on to the real meaning of the question. How are you doing?  “Not you too”. 
“C’mon, I’m just checking on ya (Y/N). Making sure you’re ok. Took me a minute but then I remembered you showed me the picture a few months ago.” His gaze focuses back on the road giving you at least the relief from his stare down. “First Iwa, now you. And I know Kuroo is gonna pick my brain the second he gets the chance,” your words come out in a huff of annoyance. “What can we say, we care about ya. The band would flop without our front man.” His tease is enough to lighten the tension that began to grow as you rolled your eyes again. “Our combined hotness would drop by like 90% without me.” 
“More like 5%” He could only laugh as you promptly told him to go to hell, as you turned the music back up some. The rest of the drive was void of any conversation. The only noises coming from the radio and any time either of you would sing along to what was playing out. Atsumu would only shoot you annoyed looks, whenever you’d skip one of the songs he had to which you'd just shrug without a care.  
“Hey Samu.” You and Atsumu spoke at the same time as you slid into the booth. “What are you two sharing a single brain cell now?” Your look of disgust is enough to cause the gray haired twin to laugh. “The only thing I’d ever share with Atsumu is my foot up his ass.” 
“That’s a real cute way of saying you’re the dumb one of us.” The blonde catches the wrist of your arm that aims a punch at his shoulder easily. “Take you and your shitty dye job over there next to your brother,” you mutter pushing your bandmate out of the booth next to you. He obliges, moving so that him and Osamu are both sitting across from you. 
“Now Tsumu’s stupidity is gonna seep into my head.”
 ---- 
“Hello boys, and piss head,” you greet cheerily as you enter the unlocked door of Iwaizumi’s place. You shift the drink carrier in your hand as you remove your bag, lightly placing it on the floor. The owner only raises his eyebrows at you while your guitarist just laughs.”What’d he do now,” You make your rounds handing off the coffee drinks you’d bought for your bandmates. You stop by Iwaizumi first who accepts it with a grateful smile. Next is Kuroo, who raises the cup in thanks. “Every time I hang out with him, I wonder why I do. He sucks,” you speak before handing Atsumu his drink. “Osamu really is the better twin, not by much though.” 
“You claim to hate me, yet you bring me food. Thanks mom,” the bassist mocks. You mutter something about it being the only thing that gets him to shut up before shifting your attention towards Kuroo. “Hey, can you go get our instruments, couldn’t hold them cause of the drinks.” He only nods, you asking him to please lock your door after. 
“We’re filming that song today right?” You nod at Atsumu’s question. While he goes back to typing away on his phone you settle onto the couch next to Iwaizumi. He looks at you and you raise your eyebrows in excitement. He shoots you a small smile and a thumbs up, and you struggle to contain your excitement. You shoot him a knowing look that the two of you have to talk later as Kuroo enters carrying both your guitar cases. “Bring my drink down would you,” is the only thing he says before making his way towards the basement. The three of you wordlessly follow.  
“Why are we doing this song again,”
“Come on old man, it’ll be fun, plus our dear (Y/N) gets to show off that growl today. Doesn't happen very much,” Kuroo smirks at Iwaizumi, shooting you a quick look from where you are tuning your guitar. “Plus, the viewers wanted us to do Gaga.” 
“Oh, you're just happy ya get to be heard more with this song,” Atsumu chimes in before fiddling with his bass. “Maybe,” is Kuroos response as he sits on a stool to tune his own instrument. “Besides, Judas is a pretty badass song. And our arrangement is pretty sick.” Iwaizumi can’t help but agree with you, opting to get the video equipment set up. After he finished you all ran through the song a few times before you were ready to go.  
“Hey guys, we’re Mirrors For Friends,” the four of you said in unison. Before introducing yourselves as individuals. “So, you guys asked, and we answered. You all wanted us to do Lady Gaga so bad,” Kuroo started before pausing for his self-proclaimed dramatic effect. “So, Judas here we are.”
 ----
 “Judas- Gaga” You practically screamed out the last words of the songs, before bursting out into laughter. The entirety of the song both Kuroo and Atsumu were making ridiculous facial expressions at one another, and with you being in the middle of the two, you saw it all. That, paired with post singing adrenaline and the fact that you all were even singing it in the first place seemed absolutely comical You had been so caught in laughter that you didn’t even notice Iwaizumi come up from behind his drums to nudge at camera perched on the tripod in front of you. 
“Fuck- do you guys see what I have to go through with these guys. Iwa is the only normal one,” you joked out after your laughter died down. You ignored the said members exclamations about not being that bad. “Alright that's it for us today, we hope you enjoyed, and we’ll see you when we see you.” You stuck up a peace sign heading towards the camera and picking it up. “Say bye you idiots.  
You first pointed the camera at Kuroo who was the closest to you. “I feel like (Y/N) is catching my double chin at this angle. Stream our songs and we love you.” With that Kuroo just walked off the frame, and you turned towards Atsumu. “Say bye to the video fake blondie.” 
“I just want to say that I’m the hottest member of the band and-hey” Atsumu exclaimed as you just cut his segment short, before walking to Iwaizumi.  
“You know the drill Iwa. Your turn” This time you moved the camera up and down as if you were giving the audience a chance to check him out. “Now this is the real hottest member of this band,” you teased before aimling back towards his face. You stifled your laugh at Atsumu and Kuroo in the background yelling for him to take his shirt off. “I hate this band. See you all in the next video.” With your drummers closing you stopped the recording before letting out a sigh of relief.  
“Well that was exhausting,” you automatically made your way to the couch where you had your laptop resting. “I can probably get this edited and uploaded by tomorrow guys.” You felt the couch dip next to you and the voice of the band’s guitarist. “I can do it. I know it's been an interesting week for you,” he gestures towards your ribcage, where your new tattoo rests under your tshirt. The tone of his voice lets you know there’s no point in countering. When Iwaizumi gets into his band labeled ‘dad’ mode, you won't win. “You're acting as if I have a choice,” you huff handing him the camera’s memory card.  
“Shit- guys, I gotta go. I forgot the team got a last-minute practice match with another school,” Atsumu’s panicked voice cut through the room. “Were done here right?” He looked between the three of you sighing in relief as he quickly started putting up his instrument. “Hey, don’t forget next week we’re at Bauhaus.” He only nodded mindlessly, before making his way to the stairs, before stopping halfway. “That's the 3rd, right?” 
Kuroo’s thumbs out caused him to practically run up the stairs and out the door. Once the bassist leaves, he plopped himself next to you on the other side of the couch. “So lovely band members of mine, what secret are you two keeping from me and Tsumu.”
⤿taglist: @o51oc​ @suna-allie​
a/n: yall know that one tiktok audio from what bgc? wheres like awkwardly quiet then its like “hey guys”--- thats how I feel after coming back to this fic after a month. But yeah life and then more LIFE. So with that, sorry this chapter is kinda awkward writing bc i literally havent written for this in that month at all. Anyways, now that we’ve gotten our band dynamics established we are kicking off the real plot starting next chapter. I still don’t know which boy to do so pls help a loser out. I think I’m gonna take out the possibility of Iwa though ????
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sastrugie · 4 years ago
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my christmas break starts this friday as well! what’s up with your coworker? have her test results come back? is she doing okay?
alright, so my fav topics include:
- the russian revolution, as already stated :D
- the cold war (mostly from the east european point of view)
- the tudors
- victorian era england
i also really love peaky blinders (the show) and i occasionally enjoy reading about how different gangs operated back in those days but i don’t know much lmao
also, monarchy is just such a terrible system but i completely get your interest in the people! for example, i also adore reading and learning about the tudors and the romanovs but only as a part of history and not because i’m such a big fan of the monarchy? lmao if that makes sense.
and like, i lowkey get why the bolsheviks thought they needed to assassinate the whole family but it’s also really sketchy, dude ://
i think i like britain’s history just because it’s so rich and influential, but like we simply can’t ignore the fucked up shit they’ve done through the centuries. so again, i enjoy it but mostly because i love judging them for their actions lmao
and to answer your question, i don’t really know if i have many historical favs? i feel like i enjoy way too many problematic people lmao. nevertheless, the ones i’m most interested in atm are: lenin (shockers), anne boleyn, anne bonny, malcolm x - this list shifts constantly depending on my mood though.
oh shush you, i’m sure your style is bombing based on everything i just read :)
lmao i actually do that sometimes, but mostly in my mother tongue! but i also just love shakespearean insults in english, those are impeccable
and merci beaucoup! good luck with russian; maybe you’ll be able teach me a few phrases in the future :D
ooh what are you studying atm? if you don’t mind sharing, that is.
and me, i’d like to become a psychologist some day, so that’s pretty far from history as well haha but i never want the enthusiasm to die ever and i’m really loving how the two of us can just scream to each other about history in every single ask/answer :D
thank you so much for these beautiful recommendations, i’ll definitely check them out!!
here are some of mine:
books:
- maria stuart by stefan zweig (german author, so it shouldn’t be too hard for you to find it!!)
- red crosses by sasha filipenko (fiction about the stalinist regime)
- the age of light by whitney scharer (historical fiction again lmao; tells the story of photographers lee miller and man ray’s romance in the 30s with little snippets into wwii through lee’s pov; the writing was stunning)
- sapiens by yuval noah harari (basically the history of mankind; so informative and enjoyable, i adored it)
- the real peaky blinders by carl chinn (what the title says, really; the actual gangs of birmingham and their not so shiny careers)
these are the best ones i read in 2020 but i’ll let you know if i remember any of my other reads!!
i also haven’t read any actual books about the 1917 revolution because i haven’t really had the chance to go to the library yet and i’ve been busy doing my research on the internet haha (it’s a fairly new hyperfixation of mine, to be frank). however, i’ll hit you up if i find anything worthwhile <3
documentaries:
- the russian revolution (the title speaks for itself lmao)
- genius of the modern world (3-part docuseries about marx, nietzsche and freud)
- world war ii in colour (lmao just a classic, innit)
- secrets of great british castles
- the last tzars (tho i’m pretty sure you’re quite familiar with this one haha)
- forbidden history
- secrets of the six wives
- anything by lucy worsley, tbh
these are all off the top of my head but again, i’ll let you know if i remember any more!!
oml i apologise for the long message and i hope your week is going well :D
dont apologize for long messages! <3 im always happy to talk to you 
sadly her test was positive UGH which means i have to get myself tested too (today) and if the worst case happens: i´ll have to spend christmas alone in my student flat bc then i obviously cant go home to my family (my grandparents live there..) so yeah, today 14:20 o clock... i have the test :( cross your fingers for me pls huhuhu
thats cool that we have the russian revolution and vicxtorian era as common interest ^^ i read a book recently its called “the ordeal” and its a triology written by alexej tolstoi during the times of the revolution. its a story about two sister and their love interests during the war times and its really good!!! 
oh i barely know anything about the tudors! pls hmu
ah yes.. the cold war... i have to admit im rather interested in the music and sociology of the cold war times but the political stuff is super interesting too! esp as you said from an east european view, so we can talk about that too!
yep. monarchy sucks! i understanbd from like a logical point of view why they shot them all, but the human side of me thinks its just cruel.. i mean yeah tsar nicholas wasnt a good politician but he wasnt a bad person either. but yeah, a difficult topic.. tbh he´s the only romanov im really interested in (i really dislike his wife alexandra tho lmao) hbu? 
leninnn :D i kinda excpected that! i havent really read much about him but he seems to be an interesting person! and who is anne boyd? malcom X yes! im really interested into the civil rights movement as well. I really like martin luther king jr.
englands history really fascinates me, and i honestly cant tell you why... but it is what is is hahhaa! nand duuudeeee omg they fucked so many shit up.. the british are a funny nation. but honestly none is unproblematic and every nation screwed up big time once:D judging is really important when youre intereste din history! like im interested in king george and queen mary but not solely for political reasons, more actually for their personal lives and victorian times and how they were as a couple, but i know... they did bad stuff too!
omg teach me some shakespearean insults pls! i only know a few victorian ones! and a bit of sixties slang :D 
im gonna reblog this and add some russian phrases bc my russian keyboard in on my phone :) but i use duolingo so the sentences are ... really weird lmao
im studying physical geography in Erlangen right now and am in my 7th semester.) im actually writing my bachelor thesis rn UGHHHHHHH
ohhhhh psychology is cool!! im really intersted in it, sadly i cant ever be one bc i suffer from poor mental health too much myself, in fact i have an appointment my therapist in a few minutes haha BUT i think youre super trustworthy and nice and easy to talk to so these are really good qualities for a therapist <3<3<3<3
AHHHHHHHHHHH THANKS!! 
i already read sapiens! its so good! and i know maria stuart by schiller haha but oml i love stefan zweig so imma add it on my list
ok and i will watch ALL of these (except the last tsars bc yeah i already saw it! and liked it ... kinda .. i didnt like the actor they chose for nicky, he didnt remind me of him at all)
i have alot of historical fiction books to recomment too: 
if you like ww2 “a time to live and a time to die”
ww1: “all quiet on the western front”
russian revolution and war time “the ordeal”
“intrige” by robert harris is also good (france 1896)
oh and documentary wise:
they shall not grow old is a coloured ww1 docu!
thank you so much for everything again i love talking to you :) have a nice day <3 (sorry for typos i was in a hurry)
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redrosydiaz · 5 years ago
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so like what about a gallavich fic that's like very very loosely inspired by baby driver? (and when I say very loosely I mean very loosely lol)
like, ian works at this diner, and one night mickey comes in really late at night, and he just sits alone at the counter and orders a coffee, drinks it black, doesn't say anything except his order. ian isnt the one who serves him this first time, but he notices him. and so of course, he notices when mickey returns a few nights later. and then it becomes a constant thing, mickey showing up in the diner. he always looks kind of haggard and tired, but also amped up, like he's a little paranoid of something maybe. ian takes his order the second time he's there and from then on out he always makes sure he's the one serving mickey. ian always tries to make conversation with mickey, but mickey isn't very receptive and doesnt do much more than grunt or give terse, one worded answers. occasionally he'll snap at ian to shut up or back off- he doesnt like the prying. hes never been one to share much about himself with others, especially strangers, and he doesnt get why some waiter is so interested in his life. one time, ian steps outside to take a smoke break and mickey confronts him about the questions (this happens after a night where ians being particularly chatty, maybe he asks a few questions that hit too close to home) and so mickey follows him outside and he's just like "the fuck's with the 20 questions in there, huh? you workin' for someone? someone pay you to ask me that shit?" and ians like "woah, hey no. no one's paying me, what the fuck. im just trying to be friendly, you seem... you seem lonely. and sad." or smth like that and that hits too close to home too and mickey gets defensive and maybe he like throws the first punch or something and they get into a scuffle, and when the fighting dies down they're like maybe slumped against the wall of the diner or smth and and mickeys like "i dont need friends" or smth like that and ians just like "okay" and then mickey leaves or whatever. but he still comes back again, and ian still serves him but there's some sort of mutual understanding now. ian still tries to talk, and this time mickey talks back a little. they begin to befriend each other.
outside of the diner, mickey is definitely involved in the criminal sphere. he works for this guy with this group of people and they rob banks and shit or smth and he can either be part of the team that does the robbing or he can be the getaway driver, doesnt really matter which, but he's involved with this, but ian doesnt know that ofc. though, the closer they get the more he becomes clued in that mickeys part of something not so good.
one day mickey comes into the diner and hes even twitchier than usual and he keeps looking over his shoulder (which has a lot to do w the fact that he decided hes done doing this shit and wants out and his boss isnt so thrilled w that) and ian comes over with his coffee and pours it out and mickey stares into the cup for a second then looks up at ian and goes "let's run away. let's fuckin run away" and ians like "what?" and mickeys like "yeah cmon let's do it, lets get the fuck outta here and let's not look back. you're always saying you wanna leave, so let's do it" and it takes a minute for ian to properly digest it but then a slow smiles spreading over his face and hes like "shit, yeah, okay let's do it"
and so they plan to split to get the shit they need and meet back at the diner later and theyll get into mickeys car and they'll hit the road and just drive away.
and so. this is where it gets kind of hazy in my mind and it could go a few ways so I dont really have the details hammered out. BUT. im thinking that either:
a. mickey doesnt end up showing up for a reason that likely includes his boss finding him and like maybe threatening to hurt ian if mickey doesnt comply and continue w the heists and shit. and so ian waits for him and he never shows. but then he shows up st the diner either the next day or a few days later and ians upset with him and he serves mickey but he doesnt say a word and hes clearly pissed and mickey tries to apologize for leaving him waiting and then explains that it's not a good idea, he doesnt know what he was thinking. and he makes the decision to break up with ian bc he thinks that will keep him safe from his boss's threats but he doesnt tell ian why hes doing it just makes some bullshit thing up that hurts ian. and maybe ian tries to fight that all like "what the fuck where is this coming from?" but mickeu ofc refuses to say the real reason just says it isnt working or smth
or b. mickey gets a visit from his boss, again, with the whole threatening to hurt ian if mickey tries to get out and leave and shit. but mickey does show up and he doesnt have any bags and ians like wheres your shit? and mickeys like we cant do that anymore. it's not happening. and ians like what? what the fuck? why? and mickey has been so valiantly been trying to keep ian out of his 'work' life and not involve him in any of that criminal shit so he obviously cant tell ian the real reason why so he has to like make up so bullshit reason or whatever and ooh maybe he could like break up with ian bc he thinks doing that will protect him bc if they're not together anymore his boss cant use him to control mickey or smth like that.
but either way, mickeys boss ropes him into another job and it's like a big one or smth and it ends up going bad and mickeys in trouble or hurt or smth idk yet and basically whatever it is it means he's stopped going in the diner, and ians fucking worried bc even if they are broken up he still loves him and he still cares and he connected enough dots to know that mickeys involved in some shit he shouldnt be and maybe he saw mickey get into a verbal argument w his boss outside the diner one day and the dude was shady af and ian thinks something might be up and also maybe he hears smth too, like someone mentions smth big that happened like "oh did you head about that bank robbery gone wrong? apparently someone got shot" or smth like that idk and that gets ian really worried bc he thinks mickey might have smth to do with that and so he maybe tries to go to mickeys house and see if hes okay and he finds hes not okay, and I'm even hazier on what happens in this part lol I havent exactly thought this far in terms of details but idk something happens w mickey and ian has to help him get out of it and the truth obviously comes out and ooh okay maybe to help mickey get out of trouble (maybe the cops are involved somehow like maybe they're looking for mickey but they haven't found him yet?) and something leads to ian blowing up a van (hehe gotta include those nice nods to canon right? lol) or wait maybe a police car instead?? and idk maybe in the end they do end up skipping town and driving off and they're both on the run now but they're on the run together lol idk.
the ending is kind of rough, but I'll try to think of smth better for that, or someone can suggest something better if they think of anything.
but YEAH. this was my brainchild of the night so. enjoy it. and who knows maybe one day I'll actually write this??
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bleusidemv · 6 years ago
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how do i: ask you everything on the ateez ask without it being too much lmao 😘
Im sorry Im only aswering this now 5 years later but I keept it save for lonely night like tonight Im so sooooorry but thanks for giving me something to do to distract me ily.
Who is your bias in ateez? Decisions who? I cant decide but Id say...Hongjoong propably...but like...the others aswell...uhm yeah
Who was your very first bias? Hongjoong thats why Im sticking to him.
Why is your bias your bias? HAVE YOU SEEN THAT DUDE??? He is so precious like he csn be such a cute lil babyboy being all sweet and caring and he tries so hard and he gives so much and he looks out for the members like they are his actual kids and he is so damn talented in anyway wether it be rapping, singing, dancing, writing, composing like boi leave something for the rest of us ok? No but for real he is a whole package and I would propably die infront of him.
How long have you been an ateez stan? Ever since the very first dance cover video back when they were still kq fellaz and you couldnt see their faces bc of the snapbacks. Watched their mini series and couldnt wait for their debut then it finally came and gave me an instsnt kill.
Why did you become an ateez stan? I saw the video and I was curious as to what they looked like and when I saw they started a show I watched it and I really waited in front of my phone every week for the new episode to drop and they were all so naturla and honest and funny in the show so they captured me from the first second on.
What was your fave era? Uhm there havent been that much by now haha but I really loved the debut era bc it was so different then anything Ive seen before and they were like my little secret that not a lot of people knew of. Ofc Im happy they get the fame they deserve but ut was also nice to know something others didnt.
Rapper line or vocal line? Rapper line
Hyung line or maknea line? Hyung line
Ateez or memeteez? I dont really know that that means but I like memes and they always deliver so Id say memeteez
Fave titel track? Pirate king
Fave sidetrack? Twilight, My Way, Desire ,Light and From
Share an unpopular opinion on anything relared to ateez: I like the mullet. Yeah sometimes the extensions were to obvious but other then that I like it. It suits him well. But I miss his mixnine red hair ugh
Share your fave meme:
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Favorite ateez mv? Treasure or HALA HALA short version
Fave ateez moment: I just recently saw something where a choreographer was talking to them and said with others he had to struggle with who could do which moves but with them he knows they all can do everything and they all looked so happy and satisfied and that made me weak in my knees.
Who do you ship? I dont ship at all.
Name one member who isnt your bias but: Jonghos vocals??? His dancing?? His looks? He is so smoll and cute but like so hot aswell and strong as heck and I like his style in clothing and he is so funny...yeah...hes that ONE ONE.
Have you ever seen them live? SADLY I HAVENT I WANTED TO GO TO BERLIN BUT I COULDNT GET TICKETS SO NO IM STILL CRYING ABOUT IT
If ateez was on a deserted island who would be the first to go and why? Woosan Id say. Like you cant seperate them anyways and they are both drama queens so I feel like they would give in the easiest and just leave together.
If you could tell one member one thing what would it be? Id tell Jongho not to worry about his wait and looks too muuch bc he is the cutest already and his chubby cheeks are the most adorable thing ever and will keep him young in the future so he should be proud of them eventho I know its hard(sister over here feeling the same lol)
Write a poem about ateez: I lov smoll bois. I lov toll bois. I lov all ateet bois.
Say one thing about ateez you wanted to say but never did: okay so I hate saying stuff like "someone gonna be the next someone else" and I dont like comparing but I feel like they could be the next bts in the way that they are from a small company and that they have to work super hard and do everything themselves but keep it real and achieve stuff bc they really just are that talented and deserving of it. So yeah I feel liek they will definitly be the ones on tv and international shows and everything in the future.
Did you watch kq fellaz content pre debut? Yes I did
Fave variety they have done? I really loved the whisper challenge they did with heyitsfei. They were so cute and funny and their english killed me
Treasure or pirate king? Pirate king
Say my name or hala hala? Hala hala
Desire or promise? Desire
Stay or twilight? Twilight
Fave dance mv? Pirate king
Fave choreo? Also pirate king
Fave mv concept? Treasure
Tag your fave ateez blogs:
@yunhos-gf @yeosangkang
Do you share a sign with anyone in ateez? Nope no pisces boy for me
A quality you and your bias share? We are bothe very caring and fond of the people we love around us.
Are you the same age as anyone in ateez? Yunho and me are only 19 days apart.
That was a long ride but it was so much fun ahhh I lov u honey
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crafiet · 6 years ago
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1-50 of the writer’s ask thing, go!
BITCH UR RUDE AF
The Basics1.     Do you listen to music when you write?mostly yeah but it depends on my mood2.     Are you a pantser or plotter?both, i was a complete pantser up until recently but ive been trying to outline big scenes so i know where im going3.     Computer or pen and paper?computer for drafting. pen and paper for outlining/planning4.     Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?not published, dont wanna be5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?none but yesterday i wrote 2k /shrug6.     Single or multiple POV?usually single but ive been trying multiple!! its hard!!! idk what voice is!!7.     Standalone or series?ugh again mostly standalone, but ive been dabbling in series8.     Oldest WIPmy spies one which went though a fantasy and scifi phase and was originally dystopian9.     Current WIPmy mages! i have no titles bc who10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?nup
The Specifics11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the mostuhhhh to be fair im v easily influenced so if i read a book and really like it i subconsciously try to implement that style of writing or try out that genre in my own work12.  Describe your perfect writing spacea desktop next to a big open window where i can play music without headphones13.  Describe your writing process from idea to polisheduhhhh i dont have a finished wip yet so idk lol usually: idea→ characters→ plot→ spur of the moment 10k word vomit→ more planning, outlining→ more words→ repeat planning and drafting until finished14.  How do you deal with self-doubts?i just take a break, read some bad books, read some good books, look at writing tumblrs and just marinate for a bit before going back in15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?i perpetually have it and since i dont have deadlines or a publishing contract i just ride it out, writing is strictly a hobby for me16.  How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?i edit as i go, im onto draft 2 of my mages but its technically a rewrite bc i changed most of the plot17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have?i have none atm, but i usually pick a time where i know i wont be disturbed/distracted so usually at night18.  If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?idw collab sdkksdlkbnsd die19.  How do you keep yourself motivated?i just really really like my worlds lol conceited 20.  How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?i have!!! 5?
The Favourites21.  Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?oh mannngggg i like all my protagonists, ary is the easiest bc shes the one i work with the most, but its super entertaining to be in remy’s head, and i like calyp’s bc hers is so different AAHH22.  Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?remy and seth orrr red and kieran. if im answering this correctly? or do u mean types of pairings lol idk23.  Favourite authorhummm idk every author i really like have books i dont like so i cant say24.  Favourite genre to write and readfantasy25.  Favourite part of writingworldbuilding *.*26.  Favourite writing programgoogle docs. it would be word but im too poor to buy it lol27.  Favourite line/sceneidk if this is my favourite but“I am at least trying to be civil.”“I am being civil. You want me to yell at you? Turn into a wolf and fight it out like you’d want?”Kieran closed the file and stood. “I don’t—rem—”“Remember.”“I don’t remember you being so—” He searched for a word, but gave up and growled instead. Red got the idea.“Angry? Callous? I ought to reteach you the English language.”“I know how to speak,” Kieran blurted. “Remember, I spent twenty-four years a full human.”“And look how fast that’s disappeared.”28.  Favourite side characterwhat are side characters lol ENSEMBLE CASTS29.  Favourite villainossssshhhh probably michael bc i love him30.  Favourite idea you haven’t started on yetive started on all my wips im one of those bastards who can multitask
The Dark31.  Least favourite part of writingactually drafting lmao32.  Most difficult character to writeprobably christine bc shes meant to be relatable and down to earth and thats boring smh33.  Have you ever killed a main character?yes, not a pov one though34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?probably any scene that requires a lot of research on a topic i know nothing about, like hacking or sword fighting or whatever35.  What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?bridging scenes suck theyre necessary but they SUCK
The Fun36.  Last sentence you wrote“My plan would go smoother with you involved, but I can find others. Many want his head.”37.  First sentence or your current WIPShe squinted in the harsh light.38.  Weirdest story idea you’ve ever hadugh this girl who could see deaths coming and she worked for the fbi but she was like 15 so she still had to go to highschool lol39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever hadprobably her, only bc i was 13 when i created her and was reading this banshee series but somehow didnt connect??? and didnt realise she was a banshee?? without the screaming40.  Share some backstory for one of your charactersomg all of my characters have purposefully murky backstories bc i find that trope cool af lol. i guess ary has that typical woe-is-me backstory where her parents were killed, she spiraled and got involved with the wrong people and then was betrayed and arrested lol
The Rest of It41.  Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?literally i swear by: trying anything out. fiddle with pov, tense, perspective, genre, character identity, hell take a story you like and try to put your own spin on it. writing as a craft only gets better with practice and my best work is when im going outside of the box/my comfort zone42.  How do you feel about love triangles?is this even a debate anymore, this trope got flamed so hard i havent seen it in ya in years. i dont really care about it43.  What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?good lol my outlines are usually done on the spot and i come up with more creative plots/scenes if i can think on it a bit44.  How much research do you do?i edit as i go so i research as i go. my pre-drafting research extends to saving links on things i might wanna write about and thats it lol. i would say i dont do as much as i should45.  How much world building do you do?a lot lol i LOVE worldbuilding. but i find it hard to incorporate it into my draft naturally so a lot of minute details get cut 46.  Do you reread your own stories?all the time lol i forget what i wrote half the time47.  Best way to procrastinatetwitter–OR if u wanna seem “productive”, writing blogs are a good way to get distracted48.  What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?bitch there was a time where i only wrote self insert characters lol49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?im too lame to hang out with any of my characters. they would be nice to me but i wouldnt get to know them like how i know them from an author perspective50.  [Other question—ask me anything]u didnt ho
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kosmicdream · 7 years ago
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hi i just discovered your webcomic !! i very much love it a lot and i was wondering if yo could maybe clear up the worm's anatomy ? cuz like, one minute they have boobs except its referred to as a he and then it has a dick but its still a queen ? don't get me wrong its insanely cool but if you would be so kind as to enlighten me on the subject it would be very much appreciated !! keep up the good work !!
I’ve been getting a lot of new readers and I think its been a while since i’ve gotten questions about this, so I suppose I don’t mind recirculating some information again. Hopefully i can cover a little bit more of the deeper nuances about worms and their relationship to gender/sex/pronouns that i haven’t talked about before. Its best to keep in mind that pronouns and also body parts (genitals/breasts, ect) arent always indicative of gender or sex. I think this is safe to say this is true for.. even outside of my story.
**SOME SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVENT READ THE ENTIRE COMIC... SORRY I RAMBLED***
Anyway-- In the case of hydragora worms (which ill focus on as they are the ones with the king/queens classifications), their pronouns are not even exactly related to their genders or sex at all! but rather the type of ‘class’ of worm they are. Technically, all worms are able to lay eggs and also fertilize them. there are no “girl” or “boy” worm. Sometimes their rituals with how this process happens are different depending on what kind of worm they are, but they are all able to shape-shift their bodies to look how they want-- well, based on what they eat-- so body parts like boobs and genitals are really just accessories. For some worms, they’re important parts of their body that help make them comfortable, for others they couldnt give a fuck about what is swinging around. it really depends on the individual. Worms can mate without even having any visible genitals just as long as they squirm around in the necessary fun fluids with some sort of .. open.. orifice to absorb it with.... worm sex can be real damn freaky i wont get into it rn.
Back to the pronouns though. What does it mean??? Well, Kings do not actually mean male and Queens do not mean female..Even though we humans generally associate these pronouns/words with male and female! To make it as simple as i can, I try to explain or ask others to think of it like..Kings (he/him) - Typical characteristics: Lazy, Important, Need to be worshipped and protected. Very sexually appealing. Also have mysterious powers. Often have little weird crowns.Queens (she/her) - Characteristics: generally very large, can regenerate, specifically hunt down kings to kill them. Super strong. Generally have cool looking tails for some reason. Very colorful because that is useful for intimidation and showing off how strong they are.Regular worms: want to worship kings + protect them, also desire to become knights. technically speaking-- i would say that the lack of pronouns is the most ‘suitable’ pronoun to describe them. some even casually adopt he/she/they pronouns but usually in the space of interacting with other species. anyway, they’re loyal and subservient. knight worms: the special king-appointed upgrade of regular worms, they often adopt he/him pronouns through this process but it is reflective of their close bond with their king. (the very simple format is thinking the three basic worm genders as LAZY, MURDER and WORSHIP.)
*ok more specific character spoilrs below YOUUUVE BEEN WARNNNED IM WARNING YOOOU ok done warning**
Some worms break from this system and try to reinvent or reinterpret pronouns for their own while still interacting with worm culture/society. A couple examples of worms that do this are Agent Paper and Nail. (although really, its hard to think what worm character in ffak does not do this lol) Paper is a woman wishes to be viewed/treated as a woman by ANY species she interacts with. But! this doesnt mean she identifies as being a queen worm however- even tho she uses she/her pronouns. She just is a female worm. That identity is important to her even if, for a worm, it is far more ‘binary’ way of thinking than worms typically exhibit. Other worms will probably view her as a wanna-be-human or close minded. But just because the majority of worms are very fluid in many aspects of their gender/bodies/identity/sexuality doesn’t mean paper has to conform to this fluidity as well. The idea of a ‘Binary Gender’ for worms is typically very confusing (or an example of someone who is misinformed) to those who understand that worms generally do not adhere to a binary system. Especially for a worm who is NOT trying to disguise themselves as a human and integrate with human society (Aka, like Dylan who mostly interacts with humans and generally tries to remove herself from worm culture/society completely. Dylan does not even WANT to be considered a worm while paper still LOVES being a worm and associating herself with worms. shes just a woman worm. dylan is a woman. just not a worm woman. she will begrudgingly accept she is still technically a worm, but the identity of woman is less important to her and is more just the default of being viewed as a cis lady by humans and dylan is like ‘yeah whatevs’.)Nail is a queen worm, which typically have she/her pronouns, but he goes by he/him pronouns and also is fairly assertive of that. However, this doesnt mean he is a man or wishes to be viewed a ‘Man’ or ‘Male' (specifically) or even as a “King.” its more like... his own interpretation of what he/him means, which is about authority, dominance and most importantly: power. If he would pick a ‘binary gender sort of thing’ (while rolling his eyes bc he thinks its stupid while also thinking its important enough to get annoyed at when people dont respect his pronouns) he would pick being a man and would vehemently reject being viewed as a woman, but in a more deeper level that is not actually how he sees his he/him pronouns as a man thing. (even between being NB/male/female he would still pick man because that just seems ‘direct to the point.’ and satisfying) He also generally rejects the label of Queen worm too, but will begrudgingly or unenthusiastically accept that he is one. He is also considered an ‘odd’ queen because he is very small in stature and generally has muted colors of browns/tans instead of flashy ones. He has been teased at this too that he wasnt QUEEN enough by being so small and puny lmao.
To backtrack a little, As worms integrate with human society, or even hekatons (which that species also mimics a lot of human society), they will often adopt the ideology and system of how pronouns are used. Or at least, will be forced to process how other species will view them based on the shared language of using the same words, despite it meaning many different things... to not only groups of people but also on the individual level. I think thats an important thing to consider that there are many different dynamics, interpretations and journeys interacting all at once and influencing each other and are constantly evolving and branching out. Even the lines between what is a king/queen/other worms really ARE is blurry because its all on a spectrum of.. various physical characteristics and behaviors.
And to go into EVOLUTION and BLURRY LINES... As we can see with a worm like, Jacket for example... while he is specifically NOT a king, he is also more like a unique blend of features from queens/regular worms and also knights. because he WANTS to be a knight he already uses he/him pronouns despite not actually having a king already and hasnt even gone through the specific knighting process. Jacket sees He/him as words that mean total loyalty to the king. Whoever the king is. And if someone were to try to put him in a specific box of queen/king/knight/regular worm they would be unable to place him b/c he is something else unique entirely. and while jacket uses he/him pronouns i think at the core of it he literally does not give a fuck about language at all, or genders, or labels. those are all nonsense things. he relies only on instinct and desire.
Phew. ok I could ramble on and describe every one of my worm characters, but I’ll leave it at there for now. Crimson is even more confusing bc she is a fucking hybrid human/mandragora worm, using a goddamn hydragora body, and has like 2 other clone heart selves and all this other fucking bullshit. i have been writing this for like an hour. lmao
I hope some of this is communicates at least, its a little difficult to orchestrate and articulate all the levels operating here at once in a simple-to-digest manner. the fun thing about ffak at least is that if you dont want to think about this stuff you dont really have to--although id think it enriches the experience a bit.
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jooheongif · 7 years ago
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it's theory anon,hi!!how are YOU?i'm really good rn thanks:)) thank you for your kindness again,i'm really happy i could somehow help to help you feel even a tiny bit better and hope you're doing well now,too(and it's ok to not rest on your day off but it's also ok to do so if that's what you feel is right for you atm!).about the mf(ilm), i thought the same thing, it felt like a parallel universe type of story!i also really love plotlines about friendship, (again cont.i'll try to be briefer!)
(i’m so sorry i wrote a rly long reply so i’m gonna put this under read more !!)
2. friendship is beautiful and i feel oftentimes underappreciated(but not mx!there they go again being amazing) so i love the concept. personally i like not knowing what exactly the producers were thinking because having my own interpretation of something and seeing other ppl have their own fills me with wonder,like,that's art!so many people think so many different things and no one's wrong i love it!!your thoughts about them appreciating everything they've done so far,you're absolutely right(cont) 3. i hope they are able to bc everything's so hectic for the.i get lost just looking at their official schedule,i don't know how they do it but i also hope they are aware of all these things bc those are all mindblowingly huge accomplishments in my opinion and i just want them to feel like their hard work is worth it,yknow?(is this comprehensible?)and i know they feel pressure because as you said the business is nasty but yea i hope at the end of the day they can feel like (cont.???again 4. everything they've put so much of themselves into is worth it,i love their energy and fierce determination and i just don't want them to lose it but maybe as you said feel less pressured..but then the only way would realistically be to make sure they get awarded in the Real World so we're all doing our best in the system&hating it as you said:/ they just mean so much to so many people i want them to feel that too!i try to contain myself but here i go again! sorry it's so long AND i have more(con 5. also!thank you for your big reply and sharing your thoughts i mostly just agreed with (but you're right so what else can i do),i don't have mbb friends to vent to and fanperson(is there a gender neutral term for fanboy/fangirl?) over mx with and this is really nice and fulfilling(again,if i'm boring you,you can just delete the messages and not reply!) so THANKS!it's great to strive to be a better person but i feel like one(you) should also acknowledge the good things they're already doing(cont?) 6. you showed such pure kindness and really melted someone's(my) heart and that's a Big Deal!djkghddgwe can agree that we both inspired each other :') also please i feel like you're such a wonderful soul and you really deserve every bit of gratitude and appreciation i managed to express(i feel a lot moreprobably) so!yeah!reminder that you're lovely and deserve to be appreciated and i'm also very,very happy you're here!you made my day brighter for the 2nd time now wow!thanks! i hope you and(cont.:() 7. your gorgeous heart are taking good care and enjoying your day/night! and this cb!i really like it i haven't had time to listen to the entire album but jealousy!is a bop honestly it's my type of jam and the choreo is stunning and so are their voices!iwas so skeptical about the lyrics(they could've been like hero or stuck and those made me a bit >:/ honestly) but i really should've known they wouldn't fail me in any way ever!i can't wait to hear the rest of the songs i hope you enjoy them too!bye
hi theory anon, it's nice to hear from u again ! firstly, i am so sorry for the slow reply to this ! but im rly glad to know that u are doing good :-) i'm doing ok too thank u !! how are u ? kfjjfdsjfdf sorry that u had to read my tags but thank u for saying that !! i just feel so guilty when i do nothing bc im absolutely terrified of time passing too quickly ? just the thought of letting a few minutes go to waste is overwhelming ? even though i know it's not rational to think like this but ??? theres just this constant feeling that im running out of time so i try to get rid of it by always doing smth ?? and feel bad when i dont ? idk ?? but anyway im working on it and ill be ok ! sorry..not to be dramatic and tmi and all that kjdfdj istg this blog gives me too much freedom to say...too much :( (hope the internet folks that collect metadata never read the garbage i write bc..yikes they aren't gonna hav the best time) anyway..yea. what a paragraph to start off this reply :( sorry for the honesty and saying so much all the time btw :( not that being honest is necessarily a bad thing but ! idk every time i write smth i suddenly feel extra self conscious and feel like deleting it bc im rly embarrassed and always end up having big regret later when i reread anything ive typed up !! but i just keep writing them anyway bc...idk ?? i'd rly hate it if someone got discouraged from sharing their thoughts/worries/feelings which i think is a rly important human thing :( so  yea im rly embarrassed w anything i write but i'll keep doing it anyway bc i'm all for that kind of stuff and sometimes i know its not easy and it takes someone a lot to share that and its a good thing and i dont ever want anyone to feel discouraged from doing that ! anyway i just felt like i rly needed to say all of this..but pls dont feel obliged to reply to this mess !! anyway back to mx ! you are right :( i also hope mx feel like what they've done is worth smth w/e their definition or standard of that is :( like.. all of the hard work they've put into being mx it certainly means so much to fans but i hope all the hard work they've put into being mx also means smth to them at the end of the day and they are happy w what they're doing and what they've achieved so far :( and yes we'd love mx to always be rewarded in the real world :( though we love them and we want to get them a win, i know that everyone has their commitments, means and different circumstances and we can only do so much :( but even if u think its just a small contribution, everything adds up and counts and i know that all mbb hav contributed in some way in helping them get another win for this cb ! there are some mbb who can't buy albums or streaming passes and things and i hope they don't feel bad for this :( even if all you can do is watch the mv once or twice, even if you could only vote, i hope you know that it all counts and matters !! abt mx's schedule, i get tired just by looking at their weekly one idk how they can even put up w it all ?? after this they'll hav their japanese album and things and then they'll have their concerts and on top of all that apparently [some of them are also studying] ????? they are so hardworking :( HOW do they do it !! just..thinking abt their schedule is overwhelming !!! also pls dont think that you're boring me or anything like that :( im so thankful for any msg i receive and the fact that u actually took the time to type out smth to send to me ?? im so grateful ?? u are never boring !! honestly even if u sent me a stainless steel dishwasher manual w the page length of like..23 bibles, i'd still love u for it and i'd prob read all of it :( btw thank u sm for saying all those kind things !!! receiving kindness for the 3rd time is rly !!!!!!! and once again i've done nothing to deserve it :( i dont even know what i can say to you that will ever be enough to thank u again or to top what u hav already said ! if there was like a...maslows hierarchy of kindness of smth, ur at the very top of that triangle and anything i say will never be as kind as what you have said !! for you, i can agree that we both inspired each other :-) but really thank u so much from the bottom of my heart :( i hope you know how kind and lovely u are too ! if nobody told u this today, i wanted to say that im rly grateful to know u and i'm happy that you're here !! thank u again for being so kind and thoughtful and for making me smile !! :( same, i havent properly listened to the whole album either bc ive just been letting it stream in the background (but i dont count that as a proper listen unless i listen w headphones tbh) ill give it a good listen one day ! also im a repeat 1 kind of garbage person until i feel the need to listen to a new song ?? and rn jealousy to me is a song that gets better w every listen ??? shes too powerful atm :( one day ill listen to another song but today is not that day ! Actually.....I think jealousy is my fav mx song ???? before this cb i didnt hav a fav bc i couldnt pick the song i liked most out of blue moon/blind/fighter/incomparable. i was just gonna base it off the one w the most play count out of those 4 but now i know its jealousy ! what are ur fav mx songs ?? btw i know im always saying that anything mx releases is always a masterpiece no matter what, but in all seriousness its ok if u didn't like smth they released. i don't think it makes u any less of a mbb if u didn't enjoy a certain release or if u only liked one aspect of a thing but not so much the rest of the thing. anyway not to sound so...stale and commonplace but for lack of a better word/sentence, at the end of the day your own reactions and feelings to a piece of art like music...it's all just subjective isnt it ?? not liking that thing doesnt mean that its not a masterpiece or its any less of a masterpiece to someone else either so !! it's ok !! anyway this is rly....ive written a lot and its all over the place and incoherent probably :( i'm sorry !! feel free to reply whenever u feel like it, or no pressure on never replying at all btw ! also feel free to disagree w anything i say ! thank u sm for talking to me abt mx bc ive also got no mbb friends so !!! thank you :( theres so many times where i rly want to start a conversation w someone but im too scared and also i've got no clue abt how to initiate conversation ! and the times when i do manage to...i get stuck on how to keep the conversation going ? but when i figure smth out then im coming for u @ friendship !! i hope u had a good weekend and that you got some rest and that ur doing ok wherever u are !! until next time, take care ❤️❤️❤️
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felixeslee · 7 years ago
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92 q tag
hello this tag is highkey irrelevant now but it’s been in my drafts for ages so !! laskdgjasodigjsaldkgasodigjasdg which is why i wont b tagging anyone bc im so late but !! yeah !! ok !! !!!!!!!!!1111!!! lets !! go !!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
tagged by @hyuunjins @hyunjinh @straykiz and @dae-hwee from my w1 blog (lmaoo hi pindi this is sarah!! AIddgsdfk if youre aware of this blog but hope its ok if i do it here alskdg ) 
rules: once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. 
🌙 LAST
Drink: the water that I drank this morning!! Aka around 12 hrs ago asdgasdgoij pls stay hydrated kids 
Text Message: i texted my brother if he knew where my dad was lol,,,,,,, sldkjgaosidgj 
Phone Call: CALLED MY BROTHER BC HE WASNT RESPONDING MY TEXTS,,,,, he also didn’t pick up ldskgjsoidgjsldkgsjdg
Song you listened to: Goodbye My Love by Aileeeee <3 lovv 
Time you cried: TODAY ,,,, i was getting super anxious bc i didn’t know where my dad was ??? he was supposed to pick me up but he forgot abt me until like an hr later… sldkgjaosidgj 
🌙 HAVE YOU EVER
Dated someone twice: no :00 lmao i’ve never dated… ever alskdjgaoijsdf 
Kissed someone and regretted it: i havent had my first kiss yet HEH 
Lost someone special: unfortunately, yes :( 
Been depressed: sdgksjadoiglskdfosdijgalskdfaosdigjaksdgoaisdjf idk 
Been drunk and thrown up: lmao i’ve never drank ,,, at all,,,, the smell of alchohol scares me,,,,, evn my little brother has had a sip once and he’s 5 yrs younger LMAO ,,, but im a noob and don’t wanna try sldkgjosidjgs 
🌙 IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU
Made a new friend: yay yes yeslgkdgsdf
Fallen out of love: i dont think i’ve ever evn been in love…. Sdlgksjdoigj 
Met someone who changed you: yes,,,,,,,,, 
Found out who your true friends are: uhhhh idk aslkdgjaosidjf i honestly can never tell when someone’s being a fake friend so!!!!!! Idk honestly lmao
Found out someone was talking about you: i did ! but it wasn’t for anything bad or anything……… they just criticized me behind my back?? But i agreed w their criticism so alsdkjgaosidgj  
🌙 GENERAL
How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: ummm,,,, like 4?? We r mutuals evn though none of them r actually kpop blogs,,,, so i always feel guilty spamminig their aesthetic feed w my screaming tags and annoying shit LMAO but i lov them <3 
Do you have any pets?: NO :”( I WANT A DOGGO THO …. REALLY BAD…..
Do you want to change your name?: uhhh ik so many sarahs its not evn funny and my last name is hella basic too????? Theres 3 ppl that share my first+last name in my school alone….. So maybe i’d change it to my chinese name (yue) ?? also bc it sounds more sophisticated,, and i lov anything that makes me sound smarter than the reality of my dumb self LOL 
What time did you wake up this morning: LOL so my alarm rings at 6:40 but i get out of bed at 7:10 SLDGKJSODIF … and i need to get out of the house by 7:20 lsdkgsdoig 
What were you doing last night: physics and apush :SLDGJOSIDFJ the 2 most dreaded classes UGH
Something you cannot wait for: DINNER .. i love me some gud dinner
Have you ever talked to a person named tom?: thomas jefferson my mAN 
What’s getting on your nerves right now: when it’s so heckin cold i can’t concentrate + i hate taking notes when it’s cold??? Bc then my hands r like half numb and it HURTS WHEN I TAKE NOTES sldkgsoidjf ALSO WHEN I DRAW ,,,,, STIFF FINGERS R THE WORST WHEN DRAWING
Blood type: i think a????????????
Nickname: my most common ones r swisso + salad (i promise these make sense in context LOL ) 
Relationship status: return NullPointerException; //im a cs person,,, dont judge
Zodiac sign: capricorn!
Pronouns: she + her
Favorite show: i dont watch many shows but i love watching a gud studio ghibli movie when im feelin down
College: this QUESTION LSDKGJSODIGJ ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i wanna go to college but will any accept me ??!?!
Hair colour: its naturally black but it’s currently dyed ombre from black → brown !!!!!!
Do you have a crush on someone: i havent had a legit crush in 3 yrs lmao……. 
What do you like about yourself: the fact that im a deep sleeper. Idk how light sleepers function omg like wouldn’t u wake up to like,,,,, everything??! :((( that makes me sad bc u hav no idea how much i lov a nice long undisturbed slumber
   🌙 FIRSTS
First surgery: okAY so like i've had 2 procedures done on my eyes lmaooo like (1) when i was a smol beb of like 1 yr old i rolled off my bed aaaannnnddd the corner of my eye hit the edge of the sharp corner of the bedside table!!! and then y1ke$ things got ugly loll (((yes, i wuz dum + clumsy since the day i popped from the womb))) its all stitched up now and i hav a tinie tinie scar aslkdgs okay and (2) there was something weird abt my tearducts LOL so u know when u get sad nd stuff ur nose gets runny and u sniff a lot??? well like that wasn't the case for me bc the passage way from my eyes to my nose was completely blocked off,,,,, which resulted in me lookin like i was full blown cryin like every 2 seconds... like if i kept my eyes open for too long my eyes would get watery and tears would flow out LMAO ,,,, i looked like i just never stopped crying,,, but it was just my eyes were just ALWAYS WATERING sdlgjsdif damn u have no idea after the procedure i was like 'do ppl live like this??? not having to wipe tears every 0.2 sec??? oh my god,,, i am livin THE LIFE' 
First piercing: i hav no piercings!!! Bc stabbing holes thru myself scares me sdlkjgsoidg but i love the way earrings look tho so :///// 
First sport you joined: dance or gymnastics???? I dont rly remember
First vacation: CHINA prob???? 
First pair of sneakers: i think sketchers LMAO ,,, the big thing  
🌙 RIGHT NOW
Eating: nothing!!!!!
I’m about to: do som sketches for my AP art class 
Listening to: my dad sing som old chinese folk stuff behind me LOL 
Want kids: i already adopted all 9 members of stray kids tho ??? idk if im ready for more atm 
Get married: LOL This question just reminded me of smol story from my childhood: so like i used to b rly close w these 3 other kids,,,, one other girl and 2 guys,,, and our parents were all rly tight too,, and our four families would just go camping together and it was rly :’’D fun and so we all made a pact that I would marry one of the guys and the other girl would marry the other guy and we’d all go camping together forever but then KINDERGARTEN HIT,,,, we moved schools and yeah im still rly close w the girl but i miss the 4 of us dkgjsodigjsdlkgsdf LOL 
Career: waterbottle 🌙 
WHICH IS BETTER
Lips or eyes: eyes? Eh idk i just never rly considered lips ?? LOL 
Hugs or kisses: hugs? I dont hav experience w kisses so sldkgjsoidgjsd yike syikes yikes 
Shorter or taller: TALLER
Troublemaker or hesitant: uhhhhh neither??? Like i just want someone playful + extroverted bc im quite introverted,,,,,,,,,, so if he was hesitant we’d just b super awkward and quiet,,, and i don’t like getting involved w sketchy troublemaker shit either LOL ,,, 
Older or younger: as long as they r in the same school grade level,,,, and i guess 1-2 yrs older is okaY? But lowkey freaks me out if too old 
Romantic or spontaneous: sldkgjsoidfj both? Like i lov someone who is unpredictable and spontaneous,,,, but on the other hand im lowkey a helpless romantic lasdkgjaoisdjf 
Sensitive or loud: both i guess too??? Its good to have someone understanding and sensitive but also someone who knows how to have fun  :) 
Hookup or relationship: hookups,,,,,,,, just dont make sense to me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i get attached to someone p easily so even if i dont plan on being attached,,,, i’d probably get attached :(  
🌙 HAVE YOU EVER
Kissed a stranger: YIKES no 
Drank hard liquor: nO 
 Lost contacts/glasses: UH I HATE THIS BUT YES….. 
Sex on first date: yikes * (6.02 *10^23) adkgaosidjgaslkdf no thaNK you 
Broken someone’s heart: i dont know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i might’ve but maybe im just not aware ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but on a sidenote i think my old comupter science teacher gets a migrain everytime he sees me LOLLLLLL sdlgjsoidgjsldf 
Been arrested: no,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :0 
Turned someone down: yeah lmao i kinda feel bad tho bc they were all good ppl,,,,  lskjgosidjf but thankfully im still good friends and pretty tight w all of them ~  
🌙 DO YOU BELIEVE
In yourself: ocassionally i try to :’’D
Miracles: lol yes 
Love at first sight: i used to ? but not anymore,,,, like i believe u can be attracted to someone at first sight ?? but i feel like love cannot be attained thru visual contact only asldgjoasidjalsdg
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ts-akhmim · 5 years ago
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Episode 2 | “GET ME OUT OF HERE ” - Devon
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okay so i filmed a video confessional earlier which is uploading where i basically talked about dealing with being a winner/the tomb and having an idol/potentially wanting to go to tribal pre-swap/deliberately choosing the puzzle/how much i love jake so that'll come at some point after this but just KNOW that came first. anyway just wanted to talk MORE because i have more thoughts. last round i was really conscious of needing to micro-manage my threat level and i think im putting in work to do that? im very concious that i cant play the same game as montenegro because im coming into it from a very different perspective/position. However, one thing I can do this season is transfer my prejury game, because i think it still works. What I need to do is to some extent take a backseat, where I'm not actively messaging people first, and keeping game talk kinda limited (but acknowledging it when people talk to me). Like I have the safety cushion of my idol, and my connection to jake/jordan, and to some extent dan and lovelis? like im not gonna be a target (touch wood) and hopefully if i am my men tm going to keep an eye out for me.... hopefully? it also means im not gonna be pushy about votes im gonna hear names and run with it (as long as its not jake/jordan, or lovelis tbh i get real good vibes from him). but yeah id really love the beauty tribe to go to tribal this round ive literally never spoken to a single one of them so i'd love one of that tribe that is a complete unknown quantity to go home DJDKLFSF. but yis so im feeling good taking a backseat but im gonna ejector seat myself forwards at some point, just got to figure out when to push the button
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Okay so Bodhi left last night and that was really sad. We had nice conversations but i told him that if the rest of the tribe wanted him out i wasn't going to campaign for him. He ended up making his rounds but at the end of the day, no one felt strongly about keeping him. He speaks so well that it took me a night's rest to get my head straight. Also Trace got an alliance together of himself, myself, Scott and Isaac. Bitch i was SHOOK! I am so glad to be likable enough to be brought into someone else's core. So this kind of perfectly positioned myself and Scott between 2 alliances. I believe we're both more loyal to the one we formed before we found out we were going to tribal, but who knows. I did tell Autumn of the news because i figure if we were to lose again. Whichever of Isaac of Trace remains is going to feel on bottom and blow up that Scott and I were two-timing the DADS. Btw that is the dumbest alliance name I have ever been a part of but whatever. The rat pack has also formed and now him and I are in a good spot. I will say that i am nervous that MISS ALYSSA spoke the comparison into existence, but i really hope we don't continue to flop like Luzon did on Cagayan. But hey! If Denise can go to every tribal council in one season and win, maybe i can too. (PS i pissed myself with my score in winterbells but also F*CK WINTERBELLS, thats all, ty) 
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Honestly I’m really regretting not participating in this challenge because I feel like our scores are.......not great. I feel like I could have turned out the puzzle and even winterbells. The flag Lovelis made is super cute and i think will fair well bc it’s very clean and neat. It’s not super creative, but it’s definitely well made. I think even if we went to tribal I would be okay though. Liam seems like an easy enough boot for us. No one seems that dazzled by his contributions to the tribe. 
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i literally am the biggest clown who ever clowned for continuing to overdo it in challenges, if i'm allowed to make it to merge at this point it will literally be a miracle.
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So Bodhi left on a unanimous vote yesterday and I'm glad that it worked out as planned! I definitely felt bad lying to him about it all and stuff, but I think it was the best for the tribe going forward. What does suck however is that we lost AGAIN! And it was actually close this time! I'm actually annoyed that we lost this time because I submitted my challenge at 4PM and the reason why we lost was because the last submission was at 8 :/ like... y'all couldn't get it in any earlier? Plus I'm annoyed because I find myself in the swing position between the DADS and The Rat Pack. Personally I don't trust Trace after finding out he tried to play the Rat Pack off as my idea when it was really his all along. To me, it shows that he'd betray me later on down the line. And the only purpose for "The Rat Pack" is so they feel like they're in the majority. So since we lost, I don't mind voting out Trace. Duncan and I called to confirm that we're on the same page. We also found out that Devon is telling us the same things about loyalty and allegiances and I don't like that. He also told Duncan that he would throw immunities and play idols for him if he needed it, and that Duncan was his number 1 ally. But he said the same exact thing to me. So... that has me a little sketch. But I also think that Autumn/Duncan are a close pair, so I may need to stick close to Devon for the long hall. But if Autumn/Duncan think I'm more with them than Devon, I'll take it. I'm supposed to go on call with the Dads soon. Duncan wants to tell them about the rat alliance so that Isaac doesn't use it as motive to get us out. Which i agree that it'd be a good idea as long as devon/autumn stick with us. Duncan and I both feel like Devon might be thrown off since he always likes to be in control, but not actually being in charge. So we'll need to do damage control when that happens. But for now it seems like Trace is going unless things change. If things go how I would want it to, then Trace leaves tomorrow. 
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https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JKqH3EQMlugIe-lwHMYMG2qoVZ7dvIzr/view?usp=sharing
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Omg!!!!! Another win that makes me so happy . The tribe is all getting along great and I couldnt all for better ppl. I'm hoping soon to get some kind of solid group together. Kendell adam and amiry are ppl I def wanna work with long term at the time. Just gotta see what happens. 
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Not much has been happening lately so I might be able to keep this short and not ramble on and on like i usually do (ill still end up writing a novel probably) yippy yay it's day 5 and everything is still all smiles and giggles over here because we've won yet another immunity!! kinda boring tbh but obviously im happy we won immunity because now that buys me one more day and at the end of it that's all i care about. I kinda did want the brauns to go to tribal however instead of the brains because i just really would like my beauties to get a nice foot hold and a lead in the game, i actually enjoy taking to some of these people, and im trying my best to talk to as many people as i can, which anyone who knows me knows isn't the easiest thing for me, i was reading some of my old confessionals from both my past games and the one thing i consistently got dragged for was not being as present with people, which granted i did improve a lot on last time around for sure, but i still got work to do and im realizing that more each day when i have no urge whatsoever to talk to anyone (don't worry, it's not you, it's (crippling depression) me! I understand socializing is part of the game and i do think my social game is my strongest asset but to me i like to think of my social game as a more distinct kind, im more elusive and i like to be that, if you leave them wanting more dahling they'll keep you around, i dont like to show all my cards, and that's a quality that i reflect in both survivor and life, and it has advantages and disadvantages in both but ANYWHO despite all that dare i say i think im still doing *decent* ? I'm making it a priority to reach out at least once a day to *most people (AJ, Augusto, Amir, Austin) are the ones ive probably had some of the best conversations with where it was the most natural and just flowed you know, and still is on day 5, and with kendall ive had some talks with her i do like her but idk i get this vibe she's kinda holding back when talking to me, and ESPECIALLY same with connor? we only had one private conversation and he gave me about a 3 word response, and if you havent guessed by now i like elaboration or at least a lil bit of personality when you talk, no shade just an observation, so that's a small red flag im very much a person who matches energy, one of my go to's in survivor is being open to the possibility of anything, ill always work with anyone who will work with me, and i think thats how everyone should play so hopefully the people ive been talking a lot to feel similar but i guess we'll have to wait until a vote of some sort to see about all that.. I still havent heard any idol talk or even game talk quite frankly so im guessing people are just still keeping the friendly facade up..... or ...... is it me?? am i the one on the outs looking like boo boo the fool or is that just my paranoia getting to me??? im not gonna send myself into a tizzy about getting voted out when we're not even going to tribal i- lemme calm down. If i had to guess I'd say Kendall, Connor, or Amir have the idol probably but sounds like a mystery for another day because im DONE im clocking out for the night until other people wanna wake up and play the game too oop final note: ok but it would be sick and twisted if it turns out they are all playing the game just without me and im the first boot of the tribe 
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Waking up on this glorious Day 5 with a new perspective. I originally applied to be on the brains tribe and was shook when I got brawn because let’s face it, my arms are akin to overcooked spaghetti noodles. BUT my tribe is so much stronger than the brains. I’m hoping for a big name to go to shake things up. AND I’m not really looking to swap onto a tribe with Trace or Autumn due to our past game history. Love them both dearly, but it’s gonna be a no from me. 
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okie so! update from me is i think im doing okay. like i think the benefit of no dua lipa cave is you can just build connections with everyone, you aren't voting someone out every round so why not capitalise on that? i'm so afraid of the fact that i'm overdoing it in challenges like i really need to calm. down. but im reassuring myself with the fact that in the first challenge i only was top because i did like... one more thing than others like its not thattt big of a deal? my puzzle time was clownery but hopefully people don't pay attention to it? im getting very anxious about overdoing it in challenges, but my thought process now is like. i need to act like people have an awareness of it, without getting kinda consumed by my anxiety about it? idk im hoping since most of these people don't know me, they wont notice me doing good in the challenge but truly who can be sure also am really just liking my tribe? like jake is ofc a king, i love jordan (who im gonna talk to later, he is the only one i feel like i have to talk to today), i also really like TJ who i was super harsh on at the start for no reason, i get good ally vibes from lovelis, liam m is super sweet even tho he is kinda inactive and dan is so fun (plus he told jake that he speaks to me one of the most so we love that!!). i've been trying to figure out what i even do about a lot of the super old school players that i have no connection/point of reference with? like people like scott, adam, kendall, aj i have truly no basis with? thats whats so scary about a swap, is at this point in the game i know 10/20 people left aka the brawn tribe + duncan/isaac/autumn, and like 10/20 isnt bad... BUT then the other 10 aka the beauty tribe + trace/scott/devon i have literally no connection to which is super scary JAKSDFA. im just real afraid of a swap. just swap me with jordan/jake/autumn/isaac PLEATHE. im just a pile of anxiety this season idk what to do im like frozen because of how scared i am... maybe it'll be all fine
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Well, that was a close one. I struggled with that comp all day and I feel like absolute shit that I only got our team that 1 point. To me, it's inexcusable not to have be able to help my tribe as I wanted to contribute and make sure I made my worth known. So now I'm just this paranoid mess that I would have been in trouble had we gone to tribal. It's been hard to talk to some of these people or for most of those who I do talk to, I just don't really know where there head is at. I'm not sure if this is just a really guarded tribe, or if I really should be concerned. So I don't know what to do just yet. And that's not a feeling I like when playing TS.
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Not gonna lie, I’m pretty sad that Bodhi left the game like he was so active pre-season so I was expecting him to do his best to go super far and maybe he did? I don’t know, but I did want a chance to actually get to play with him in TS but we keep passing each other by! I hope he is doing good despite how he might feel being the first boot yknow but yeah <3 
The way I absolutely flopped with the idol system stuff is all types of funny and sad at the same time like I REALLY thought I did something only for it to be part of the challenge… That being said, Amir did tell me that he has a theory the idol system might be based on numbers which is interesting! I am super thankful he decided to tell me and we went on this long talk about how we are each other’s #1s which is super cute! I really do trust Amir and I do want to go far with him because he’s awesome but that being said, my #1 is me like I promised myself that I’d be selfish this time around just because being the selfless person I am hasn’t gotten me a win but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We did go over a lot of stuff in terms of tribe dynamics and we both kinda agreed that AJ would be the first boot from the time if we went to tribal, we like our alliance with Kendall/Connor, we both like Adam and we both think Austin is sweet/genuine even if we don’t talk to him tons so yay for that too <3
I am SO trying to sell the fact that me and Kendall are a duo to Kendall which is funny to me idk hjfkds like she did approach me super early on about aligning but I do have the tiniest feeling she did that to mostly everyone but I’m trying to pin us with each other to her so she trusts me more, especially since I do feel as though she is the best connected on the tribe. I even called us Crystal Cox (me bc blazing speed and challenge flop ofc) and Ken(dell) ghfjdksl, I’m doing the most but yeah, I just want Kendall to see me as her #1 in the game on the off chance anything happens yknow?
Austin thinks I’m his #1 which is really sweet? I do like Austin even if it is hard to talk to him sometimes but hey, that happens. He told me that he’s really glad I’m on this tribe (which I have heard from basically everyone especially Adam and Amir which makes me feel cute omg) and that we might need to get a group going soon. I was like…. Tea but I also don’t know how quickly I want to get an alliance including Austin going just because it’s like… do I reveal that Austin and I are close-ish and be seen as a social threat? That just ain’t cute sis! But yeah, Austin told me he also really likes Kendall and Amir and that’s awesome that the two people I feel the closest to are ALSO doing THAT but at the same time, I want to be the one doing THAT the most because I’m greedy (by Ariana Grande) so it’s something to keep in mind! 
The way I absolutely flopped at that puzzle… this is why I’m a Beauty cause a sis ain’t smart to complete a puzzle and I’m not brawn-y enough to do well in a challenge hgjfdk BUT that being said, Hagthor beat the thots and apiss and I couldn’t be any happier! I do wish Brawn lost over Brain but yknow, you can’t have everything go your way (‘: it’s funny how I slayed the last challenge and flopped this one tho like a bitch really lacks consistency huh ghfjndmks
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Ugh fineeeee since I've been called out... by myself. I guess I'll do the bare minimum. So we won immunity!!!! Wooo!!!!!! Low-key though through out the entire process of making the flag, I just kept thinking darn I wish we voted out someone last tribal because drawing 7 people is annoying... watch me get voted out next tribal council lol. That would be quality foreshadowing. Today I have two goals. 1. Figure out what the method of entering the tomb. I intend on getting in contact with Augusto or Connor for that one. Augusto because he is low-key my number one. Connor because I feel if anyone can solve it he probably could. 2. Set up group chat with me, Augusto, and Austin. So Austin can feel a false sense of reassurance and Augusto and I have options. Write more later maybe.
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Honestly im feeling kind of trepidatious going forward which is a little wierd, i just dont feel like ive gotten my footing yet in this game. I think like, im in a good spot to be fine on this tribe because of my social game and how I contribute in challenges, but I dont know if I feel good about anything longterm just yet. What really is bothering me is the tomb. Its gonna be round 3 tonight and I haven't made any more progress on getting in than I have night one. I feel like I have a lot of pieces to this puzzle but nothing is fitting together and its bothering me. I'm also a little upset that if we lose, I could see Liam being the target and I can't see my self risking my position to save him if he cant save himself. He has my name on his wiki page its an obvious association to me, and while I think hed be loyal to me, I'm just wondering honestly if him as an ally is worth the target it may bring. Im cautiously moving through the beginning of this game with a lot of unnease and hopefully I find some steady ground soon.
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I am annoyed that we are yet again at tribal. I played so fucking hard at winter bells but of course someone on another tribe got like 238593277 billion which threw us back into tribal... So annoying truthfully. But it's alright, I should be able to make it out alive. I want Devon to go home. But I also don't want to let my guard down. This vote is important for a few reasons. The first reason is that our tribe is very close, so I am nervous that lines are going to be drawn in the sand. The second is that, after this vote, we will be down to five, making 3 the majority. We have an alliance of 4, and lord knows that when you are down to 5, whoever feels like 3 and 4 of the alliance are most likely going to try and rope in the 5th person to get rid of each other. So my plan is to make Isaac and Scott BOTH feel as though they are my number 1s so that they actually stick to our alliance of 4 thinking that I will be keeping them both if we lose again. This is the only way that i can see it working, but idk. I feel bad if Devon ends up going because he's a nice guy, but we have to make choices about strengthening our team, and then I have to make a choice about strengthening my place in the game. Hopefully this doesn't come to bite me in the ass.
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Things have been going pretty well for my tribe! We won the first immunity challenge and that really seemed to boost tribe morale. Granted, these past couple of days I've been quiet since I'm trying to boost grades that are literally 0s into something manageable before I graduate hehe. I've tried to keep up with people through small conversations, which seems to work better for me at the moment until I get myself together. Adam wants to create an alliance with Augusto and Amir, which I'm totally for. I understand, though, that he doesn't wanna do it immediately since there's really no urgency to? We didn't go to tribal, so why did it matter! That excuse aside, I do hope that us holding our breath to say something doesn't bite us in the ass because these are people I want to work with! I wanna get something going with Kendall as well hopefully, since I adore her! Earlier, I stated that Adam and I (Adam, really) found our way into the tomb and both flopped in the questions. Adam took another stab at it and found out we've been bamboozled! Someone beat us to the punch and has whatever contents were inside the tomb. I'm assuming it was an idol, but who knows what else is in there! It kinda made me lose motivation to keep searching inside but when in Rome? I'll probably end up trying again despite knowing the end result just because I wanna prove I can be a smart cookie as well. I also didn't gloss over this but I'll mention it really quickly, but I'm sad Bodhi went! He was one of the few people I was familiar with on the other tribes so it's unfortunate we aren't going to be able to connect with each other this game. A king has fallen. In lighter and more recents events, my tribe crushed the second immunity challenge. Kendall stunned with her artistry and I'm still gushing over how cute everyone's character was. I kinda like decimated Winterbells, but I've always been good at the game, and Amir did really well in the scavenger hunt. Augusto and Austin did really well in the puzzle also, despite their lack of confidence in offering a strong performance. We appear to be THEE tribe to beat honestly and I'm loving that. I love our tribe! I LOVE OUR TRIBE! It really would be a tragedy if we aren't able to keep up this win streak we're manifesting. 
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Sorry for not writing this sooner! Been having a bad depressive episode for the last couple days and it makes me unmotivated to write c': I feel like a flop so far in this game, not because I submit shit scores, but because I find it exhausting to connect with some of these people. They're all very nice in their own special ways, but interacting w some is like pulling teeth, and I guarantee they feel the same about me, which I would expect. That being said, I hope we keep winning, cause I don't have the energy to go to tribal right now.
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Heading into a second tribal council, there is becoming less and less room to hide. I am struggling to hold my own against the other tribes when it comes to competitions, but thank goodness it's a numbers game. If everything goes accordingly, I am taking a backseat this vote and allowing a 4-2 vote out when it comes to Trace. I appreciated Duncan coming to me with the alliance chat information with him/Scott/Trace/Isaac, but didn't like how Autumn needed to tell me first. Shows that I really can't trust Scott/Duncan after a swap comes up. In regards to Scott, he outright didn't say anything. I like him and all, but it was a slimy move to say the least. He only said something because he HAD to vote out someone in one of his two alliances. This group will be dumb as hell if they let me swap. I'll flip on them as soon as possible and invite anyone into my alliance. The tribe swap is where I made my 'Slithers' game infamous last time, so I'm hoping for a similar output. Don't forget: I swapped with the minority last time in Guyana (shout out to Jess), so I'm not worried about the numbers and how its split. ALL I NEED IS A SWAP OR TWIST. GET ME OUT OF HERE. 
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Thank God we won that based on the tiebreaker, but yikes I didn't think my flag would've tanked so hard. Guess I've gotta get better at perfecting my craft huh, but at least we're safe. I feel nervous on this tribe to be honest, because I think I'm the second to bottom on the totem pole after the other Liam, so it isn't reassuring that if we lose twice I'll either be gone, or I could even be gone at our first tribal if he's got a solid alliance going...the only alliance I have right now is with Jordan and I don't really know where I sit with everyone else, but I'm afraid of overplaying... ugh so annoying! I think I just need to force a couple of game related conversations with people to build up some trust, just hope it wouldn't paint a target on my back for trying I guess...
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oh gorl, some of these people on my tribe really think im just the clown of the tribe and cant put two and two together, well guess what, IM NOT. So Amir messages me, which nothing out of the ordinary there, ive been talking to him every day so far for the most part like i said we're a little familiar with each other from our pasts, but i was VERY surprised today at what had happened... what had happened was....he starts talking the smallest bit of game with me, basically he just said, "is it me or is everyone really quiet here?" and so i just agreed with him and i said yeah i dont think people are talking game yet which is a little weird, and then i threw the TINEST tea crumpet out there and i said "yeah ive talked to some people so easily like you, but then there's others who.....i cant say the same for" and i was absolutely hinting at connor/kendall just because i havent had the longest convos with them, which no biggie, but THEN about 20 minutes later i get a message from CONNOR of all people saying "hey adam!" ..... obviously im glad to talk to him and im all for getting to know everyone, but my instincts immediately went off and told me it's a little sus....how not even a few minutes ago i was saying how some people never talk to me and then out of no where the one person i was mainly talking about messages me?? Coincidences don't exist in survivor. Now I really have no choice but to think that amir in someway mentioned to connor that i said theres some people i havent talked to at all and that he probably needed to work on that.. which is true, but cmon. i know the tribe brain cell is missing but at least put a little thought into this and message me later tonight or not right after i say it?? I'm not sure if they have any type of past connection and while I definitely do wanna keep building my relationship with Amir, this will definitely make me question him a little bit at least until i see how some votes fall when we eventually go to tribal. Amir also told me he's had the most convos with Augusto, which is funny because thats exactly how both me and aj feel about augusto, which tells me augusto is really playing the game rn, and while thats someone i want to work with, it's also someone i need to be extremely careful with if we're still playing together down the road. plot twist: connor messaging me has absolutely nothing to do with amir and i just made this whole conspiracy for nothing but idk.... it's a conspiracy IM interested in.
***last add on because i forgot to say how the hell im gonna HANDLE this amir/connor situation... im keeping my eyes on it incase theyre in kahoots and also if they think im that dumb then clearly they havent watched me play before, which is great for me but bad for them, you cant trick a trickster try all you want, There's nothing I love more than being underestimated in survivor because it kinda makes it a little easier to play and gives me more options, so sure ill keep up my fake smiles and act like we're all fine and dandy, ill play dumb and wont even act like im onto them but i absolutely am and ill be ready to make my move the second it seems right 
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Ugh I feel so DIRTY. I feel so GROSS. Poor Devon, truly. I spoke with Autumn and told her about Devon, and she was in without a fight and told me that it should be 5-1. And then Devon came to me and was like... we all good for the vote tonight? And I'm like ................yes? Lol. I'm good, you're probably not. ugh, this is the part of this game that I hate. I want to never lose immunity ever again, let someone else break someone else's heart!
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Something about Kendall is so chaotic and terrifying and I can’t put a finger on why.her aligning was her talking to me for the first time in a day saying “let’s align” and created an alliance chat without even asking who else should be in it which leads me to believe her Augusto and Connor already have a trio and I was the 4th. Are all these focking people playing me?? Like i still cant tell if this is a real alliance but i want to believe it is and not a bluff to vote me out. But also like why even do that, the only person on this cast that I trust and have played with, bodhi, has just been voted out. I’m a free agent and I can help that alliance make it far in the game, but they also have lots of relationships on other tribes so like I might not even be that valuable to them. I mentioned to Augusto about the numbers on the blog, hoping to create more trust because I really really love him and want to trust him but I’m still just so damn unsure. if we lose this immunity and I get one bad signal from any of those 3, if they slip up even once, I won’t hesitate to align and gather the minority. But if they are playing me properly, then kudos to them! 
I am just happy i have the idol i am going to put it in my ass. 
me when the brains tribe only has 5 members left http://prntscr.com/s8y76g
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You know what? https://66.media.tumblr.com/b7b4accba586ad321141b6ba80d69044/tumblr_omule3fwZC1w1swfno1_250.gifv I'm mad but I'm not tight because that same alliance that Duncan and I orchestrated is the same alliance that will get us through. So do I enjoy going to tribal? No. And do I enjoy knowing that Trace created an alliance w/ everyone except me and Devon? No. But the Dads will prevail and I trust Scott and the gang. I mean Ducnan is family so as long as we don't go it's fine. But Devon is my baby so absolutely gotta kill for him. That's what keep em close hahaha But no the Trace vote is a dream come true that I only crossed my mind once and STILL got manifested. Like Duncan suggested it and I said you got it because Trace will be the FIRST to rally all the white boys against me in a swap. Cute or not, Trace will kill me I'm convinced. Like something in my spirit told me not to trust Trace and low and behold: Duncan reveals that alliance to me on Day 3. So confirmed, Trace is leaving so that I don't fall to the bottom of the tribe. But it's all good- Isaac listens to Fleetwood Mac and watches Schitt's Creek so he's a good guy. And Scott is literally a cinammon roll who's too busy to snitch or flip. I don't have time to discuss how much I love Duncan or Devon so we're tabling that. Anyway If y'all need me I'll be doing this 4 part immunity challenge that determines whether I make Final 3 in the other org I'm in so try not to need me lmao
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okay so... we aren't going to tribal but its still kinda messy on brawn beach. i kinda have felt this energy for a while, but i don't think jake and jordan have enough trust between the two of them for us to be a continual three person alliance. jake is a very reactive, gut-impulse kind of player which is honestly to his benefit since he is super perceptive. however that also means he is quick to be anxious about stuff in the game, which is the same as me and that is why we click. BUT. he thinks something is up with dan/jordan and honestly i see that and feel it. jordan keeps hinting at dan being the one to loop in and i think that does say something about them having some sort of game dynamic. however, jordan is maybe downplaying that relationship which is scary KLAF tbh i still like jordan and wanna work with him, but i do 100% have to keep tabs on him, his social connections could definitely become a problem if he has other priorities over me! so i think i just have to make sure im a continuing priority for him, so i have to find some sort of information to bring to him (maybe when dan proposes the alliance of me/jordan/jake/dan to me ill run to jordan and be like hey did dan suggest this to you how do you feel) to solidify that sort of trust? idk... i want my j-men to stick together and they ARENT. maybe i need to solidify stuff with TJ specifically more, he gives good ally vibes? but ya... its a mess tm
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enaasteria · 8 years ago
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Answered Asks // 2
Under the cut~~~
Anonymous said to enaasteria: April 15th 2017, 9:14:00 pm · 6 months ago Ok, don't answer to this because I will not see it anyway. I was @jamlesspyo and I say was because when you'll see this my blog will already be deleted, personnal reasons. So I want to tell that you are one of the most amazing writer I had the chance to read a story of. You are also the sweetest person so thank you so much. I hope that one you will have enough confidence in yourself because you deserve it so much. Love you and stay healthy
I will answer this bc you might come back and I’ll def miss you. Thank you for all your warm encouragement and help throughout my struggles and I couldn’t have asked for a better reader/friend. Miss you and wishing you all the best!
Anonymous said to enaasteria: April 20th 2017, 10:59:00 pm · 6 months ago you might not read this for awhile and when you do you don't have to reply, but i just wanted to tell you that all of your writing here is beautiful and amazing! finishing your story is so worth waiting for and i can't wait to read the ending! thank you for sharing your writing!
You might not think this after you read chapter 16. It’s a kind of flargh chapter but needed to be in there so T_____T I’m kinda nervous about it but hopes everyone enjoys and feel it was worth the wait.
Anonymous said to enaasteria: April 23rd 2017, 1:14:00 am · 5 months ago Freaking heck, you are an amazing and professional writer!!! I'm reading through Apartment 5108 now and I can't think of words even close to satisfactory enough to compliment your writing!! All the best for your writing and future endeavours! :)
Ahhhhhh you are too kind to me. Thank you so much for reading and no worries. please don’t stress over what to write or compliments because I enjoy any kind of feedback tbh. Spazz messages are the best!
@sassyunicorns2​ said to enaasteria: May 11th 2017, 8:31:00 am · 5 months ago I won't lose hope! I know you can do it, because you are an amazing writter and you always have great ideas!!! I am here in the other part of the world cheering for you! 🙌 FIGHTING!! 💪👊 P.S.: I'm sorry for the errors.
I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you so much for your continued support. It means so much to me and I’m so glad you love this story!
@whosexo​ said to enaasteria: May 11th 2017, 3:57:00 pm · 5 months ago SEND 💖 THIS 💖 TO 💖 THE 💖 FIFTEEN 💖 NICEST 💖 PEOPLE 💖 ON 💖 TUMBLR 💖 IF 💖 YOU 💖 GET 💖 5 💖 BACK 💖 YOU 💖 MUST 💖 BE 💖 PERFECT 💖 Miss you hope you're doing amazing!!
No words can amount to how much i love you too! I apologize for my year long disappearance. I’m a terrible person. UGH. But I shall blame it on work and daily stress. T___T Hope you are well too, love!
@dream-exo-fantasy said to enaasteria: May 11th 2017, 3:58:00 pm · 5 months ago SEND 💖 THIS 💖 TO 💖 THE 💖 FIFTEEN 💖 NICEST 💖 PEOPLE 💖 ON 💖 TUMBLR 💖 IF 💖 YOU 💖 GET 💖 5 💖 BACK 💖 YOU 💖 MUST 💖 BE 💖 PERFECT 💖 (A side message: I hope you're not stressing too much about writing. Take your time and stay healthy 💕)
You are the sweetest and thank you so much. 2017 was unfortunately the most stress filled year i’ve ever experienced but hopefully the latter end will treat us all better, yeah? T.T
Anonymous said to enaasteria: May 12th 2017, 1:46:00 am · 5 months ago wah yay! okay take your time! i (and many others) can't wait to see your masterpiece! 💕
Love you!
Anonymous said to enaasteria: May 20th 2017, 12:32:00 am · 5 months ago So I was wondering did ahri told sehun about what happened to her while sehun went after jiyul like she drank the juice and was taken to hospital or did sehun already knew or anyone told him bc I think you didn't mention that?..
Soi definitely told him---actually her wrath probably yelled at him and was infuriated with his poor actions. he probably got scolded by everyone tbh.
Anonymous said to enaasteria: May 29th 2017, 6:07:00 pm · 4 months ago Youre probably busy with apartment 5108 but i really hope you do come back to keepers! Chapter 1 left me on edge and im still eagerly waiting for the next part!! Much love sent your way❤️❤️❤️
I CANT WAIT FOR KEEPERS. I want to write it two ways but I might just do two endings bc I’m a sap and a total angst fest lol
Anonymous said to enaasteria: June 5th 2017, 8:41:00 pm · 4 months ago enaaaaaaa i miss yoooooouuuuuuuuu ):<
I MISS YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOO
@unsungthoughts said to enaasteria: June 5th 2017, 9:19:00 pm · 4 months ago Apartment 5108. I'm beyond in love w this story! I was so into the story to the point where I could literally feel everything, the emotion esp. It is truly an amazing piece of writing. I'm new here (since yesterday and just finished 5min ago) --cont.cont.-- and yet to explore ur other stories, which I will definitely do cz I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH 💕
You make me blush! I’m so happy you enjoyed this story and I’m glad it made you feel things. I hope 16 treats you well and that you’re having a great time on tumblr! welcome, welcome. AND I LOVE YOU TOO
Anonymous said to enaasteria: June 15th 2017, 11:47:00 pm · 4 months ago power through love! you got this! 👏🏽👏🏽
I was jamming to POWER as I wrote this chapter. Lord knows I needed the help. orz
Anonymous said to enaasteria: June 23rd 2017, 2:25:00 pm · 3 months ago this is kinda random but Charlie puth's Attention reminds me of Red 😅
Imma go listen to this and add it to the playlist! TY ANON!
Anonymous said to enaasteria: June 24th 2017, 11:31:00 pm · 3 months ago ena, i just wish you can fathom 1/16 of the greatness you've omitted onto the exo fandom. you're writing is absolute perfection. fandom writers are just not appreciated enough! you're art is just as important than the art exo creates. you are able to create a story and a character. just think about that. a person and their life. real or not, you've created a character all of us can relate to in one way or another. i hope you keep finding joy in what you do and never lose this passion. 🌺
I remember reading this message 3 months ago and it made me want to cry. Thank you so much for your kind words and thank you for appreciating fanfiction as an art form. I think this writing is such a lost art and people don’t appreciate the time and effort going into a story. But reading this made it so worth it and thank you so much for your kindness!
Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 7th 2017, 7:22:00 am · 3 months ago Omg i just followed you now bcs of apartment 5108 and others too. Geez why i havent discovered you then?! Seriously for me its really hard to find fanfic that matches with my reading style gosh its pretty damn well written and you succesfully made me feel like im the character. You mess my feeling hun'. You did it. Seriously youre one of the best writer i ever known in tumblr. Im looking forward to ch 16 and others too. I hope u doing well!!!! Lots of love from your lovely reader💛
Thank you so much for your kind words! It’s such a huge compliment to see you hold my writing to such a high regard and I hope this next chapter doesn’t disappoint. I’m so glad you like it and please let me know what you think of the rest of the chaps!
Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 7th 2017, 12:45:00 pm · 3 months ago I've been following you for about a year now and DAMN HOW I LOVE YOU. Its been a year since you last updated Apartment 5108 but you still log in to check on your fans. Writers block is an ass but all you need is some inspiration and then you'll be firing away with the Seahri feels. or Ahrun feels. However you decide to ship them. Also Chanyeol is my fav and the fic you wrote called Two killsss meee. THANK YOU! Also, I'm Egyptian. Pretty cool knowing you have international readers eh?
I’m so sorry you’ve had to wait so long for a chapter!!! It’s so amazing how there are international people reading this and I can’t thank you enough for your kindness and also for sending me this comment but ALSO SEAHRI. LIKE THIS KILLS ME AND ITS SO CUTE AND ADORABLE.
Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 7th 2017, 1:56:00 pm · 3 months ago Hey Ena! Just wanted to tell you that I literally open your page every single day (its been 3 months LOL) , just to check if there's any update for apt5108, no rush but that just show how much i adore your work, i just freakin' love your story! I never felt so desperate waiting for the next chapter.. but I believe good things take a long time, and I believe your work could be one of the good things, even better the best thing!! Love, Your biggest fan💕
IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. I don’t know what to say other than this year has been a mess and a true struggle but I dearly wanted to write this chapter and forced myself to do it and post today. I’m so sorry if it wasn’t worth the wait but hopefully it’s a good continuation to their story T____T
@sehun---addict said to enaasteria: July 20th 2017, 10:07:00 pm · 3 months ago Personally i would rather wait until you finish the story and post it in one go bcs waiting game for each chap is pure torture . Much love♡
I wish I could’ve posted it all but 16 nearly killed me to just finish so I hope this is a good chapter to hold you off until 17 T___T
Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 20th 2017, 10:14:00 pm · 3 months ago In reference to your tag in the previous ask- I think posting the chapters as you finish them would be preferable for me. That way I wouldn't have to wait as long for another update? But I'm wondering if writing it all and posting it generally at one point would be easier on you, so that it could kind of be one and done. Either way, I appreciate you taking the time to write this story! You are so incredibly talented and I find it so kind that you take time out of your day to write.
16 is going up soon. I hope you enjoy it and I’m so sorry for the wait. Thank you for your patience and I hope you read with low expectations because I’m a bit nervous about this chapter. It’s excruciatingly long T.T
Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 20th 2017, 11:46:00 pm · 3 months ago please post 16 when it's finished! that way we can have a new chapter at a time to enjoy!
It’s going up!
Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 23rd 2017, 4:47:00 am · 2 months ago I know I'm late but about the end of appartment 5018 I'm really curious about Polaris. Will it be build ? Will it be insignifiant ? I really like it so yeah that's what I'm most curious about :)
This will be addressed in 17! :D
Anonymous said to enaasteria: August 2nd 2017, 9:53:00 pm · 2 months ago same anon who recommended moondust~~ i have another one for you ena ^^ it's the house we never built by gabrielle alpine <3 best of luck on the story!
Imma check this out after I answer these messages and add it to my playlist! Thank you so much!
@yoruu-gen said to enaasteria: August 21st 2017, 1:01:00 pm · a month ago Happy Fanfic Writers Appreciation Day to my most favorite fanfic author in existence ❤ Apt 5108 is by far the best thing I've read on this website and I look forward to continue stalking your Google Docs 👀 I'm so thankful that you pulled me out of the writer's block abyss and I hope I won't disappoint in the future lol. Thanks for always being such a great friend and for always dying with me about our biases 😅 Love u lots~~
YOUUUUUU. I LOVE YOU. I also thank you so much for helping me with this chapter. You are such an inspiration and I know you feel like you’re not that great of a writer but honestly---you are one of the two I really, truly, look up to on this platform. I always enjoy your words, your stories, YOUR STRUGGLES with your biases but also so thankful for your friendship. 
Anonymous said to enaasteria: August 26th 2017, 9:36:00 am · a month ago Red is my favorite fic and it impacted me so much in a way i can only be thankful. Getting away of a one-side love relationship was really a big choice i should have made before but it's really scary to do so. Reading Red helped me aknowledge what i was doing to myself after denying it for too long and i finally decided to take care of myself for once. So i'm thankful because your amazing way of using words helped me realize i should do what's better for me and no one else. Take care of yourself
Red is honestly one of my favorites too. It was so easy to write (compared to apt) hahaha and although Sehun wasn’t a good character in it, I enjoyed the progression of how real the characters were? Like---this happens in real life and not all things end happily with rainbows and butterflies. It is a struggle to see a person go through something like this but it’s also a testament to their character and their willpower to walk away from it and say when they’ve had enough. I hope you’re doing well, anon.
2 notes · View notes
incendavery · 8 years ago
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gosh, thank you! that is so sweet??? I hope you (and any other of my followers who celebrate!) have/had a very happy Eid!💖 💕
on another note, I’ve finally gotten around to cleaning out my askbox! under the cut is almost every ask I’ve gotten that i haven’t answered in the past.... I’m not sure. it’s been a WHILE though.
as a warning, there’s all sorts of stuff, and it’s all untagged! also also, if you sent one of these asks and want me to remove it, just let me know!
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yes!! @fuckaspunk IS super sweet and talented and i AM very lucky to have them! and I’ve heard from reliable sources that the feeling is mutual~~💕
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i’m glad my comics make you feel less alone; that’s a rough situation you’re in. i really hope you find yourself in a better environment soon!
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thank you!!!💕
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thank you for understanding! and yes, aidan is a huge help to me??? even when they’re not answering asks, they’re always supporting me in some way, whether that’s making sure I’ve eaten enough, or talking me through my anxiety, or all the other ways they’re there for me every single day💕💕
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ok, my tips are!!:
draw as much as possible! even if it’s just lines and shapes with no meaning, you’re still developing your hand/eye skills
BUT: dont draw if you’re not feeling it! if you’re feeling fried, it’s better to take a break. go on a walk to somewhere scenic, read your favorite book, listen to some new music, hang out with friends, or just take a nap! rest up and find some inspiration! you can come back to your sketchbook when you feel energized again
draw stuff that you like! you’ll improve way faster if you’re passionate about what you’re doing
look at art you like with a critical eye. try to examine the different components and figure out what you think works or doesn’t work. try incorporation those components into your own work
read a lot of tutorials and other resources, but take what they say with a grain of salt
ultimately, remember that the only real rule to drawing is that doing it should make you happy
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good luck!! i do my best not to pick, but it’s a real struggle; i have lots of scars from it too. ;v; im cheering for you!!!
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ALWAYS!!!! if you do, please show me!! my notifications get real busy, but anyone is welcome to IM me any time!
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thank you! i actually get very worried about my style; i tend to admire artists with complex linework and delicate shading, so i often feel my style is far to simple! so thank you!!
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that is really high praise????? gosh??!?!?!? best of luck with the next three years; i hope you grow to be someone you like even better than me!
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thank you!!
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peanut time is the best!! i haven’t gotten to do a proper one in a while though ;-; i’ve mostly been feeding the crows on my way back home from night shifts, when i give them the reject eggs from the continental breakfast.
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wow, neat!! chickens are so wonderful; i cont wait until i can have some of my own :>
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dont be nervous! i know i can be hard to get ahold of over the internet (bc i get overwhelmed easily) and hard to talk with irl (bc i get so nervous and interacting w ppl doesn’t come naturally to me AT ALL) but honestly i?? love making new friends??!
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thank you!!? im thankful every day that someone as radient as aidan is in my life for the long haul
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thank you!!!!!!!💕
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i completely feel that? its ok to hit rough patches! just do your best!!
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i dont remember what i felt bad about but THANK YOU💕💕
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honestly its done me worlds of good to share my art?? hearing people talk about how they go through all the same shit i do makes me feel so much less alone, especially on the toughest days! so i guess thank you, and thank you?
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youre welcome!!!! :>
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huh!! i dont know much about shoegaze (other than thinking abt that post abt the guy who pronounced it like fugazi I THINK ABT THAT EVERY TIME) but thats real neat!! im glad youve found something that works for you!!
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hey, neat middle name! and youre very welcome; i hope things have been looking up for you since you sent this?💕
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i dont remember when this was from but im currently doing really well with my meds!! i switched to a combination of lexapro in the morning and benadryl in the evening, and its been working super well!✨
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thank you??!! ;o; i would love to see all your favorite birds!!
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hey, right back atcha!!!
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:0
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ty!!!
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hey. thank YOU
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you’re absolutely not bothering me! thank you so much!!
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!!!!!!!!!!
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hey, nice! im glad you like both me and my music!
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gosh thanks?!?!
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she is the most beautiful and handsome!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her! thank you from both of us!!!!
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aw, gosh! im sure i like you too!!
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this was from.... A WHILE AGO.... but youre welcome?? i just wish i could have done more
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hey, thank you so much!!!!!
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thank YOU and a very very belated merry christmas!!!
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that does make sense!! reconciling friendships and crushes is tricky business. the best i can say to you is to be as honest and open with each other as you can
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i dont personally get those, but ive heard of people experiencing them as a sideeffect when coming off or switching meds
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i think these two are part of the same message? but oh man yeah that sucks when ppl are misgendering you AND hitting on you at the same time. on a different note, ive never heard of using a corset to stim before! neat!
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i mean, 1. depression doesn’t care if you have a “””good””” reason and 2. ive literally never met anyone w depression (including myself) who thinks that they do have a “””good””” reason for having it. thats the insidious part of depression, is that it makes you think that theres nothing wrong and that its all just you not measuring up in some way
so i guess that would make you.... someone with depression?
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real BAD
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💕 💖 💞  💓  💗
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not yet haha THANK YOU
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hey, im glad you like it!! since this blog has gotten so big, its kinda my happy place to be? (for anyone wondering, my reblog blog/personal is @spinels!
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that IS a fun fact!! thank you!
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it’s absolutely ok! i get a little bitter when people take my work WAY out of context (for example, straight people removing the caption that says “im just really gay” before tagging their bf/gf) but i am 100% ok and happy with people relating to my work in a different way than i intended (ex: a comic i made about being ashamed of my derma getting reblogged by someone struggling to be ok w their visible burn scars)
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hoo gosh, thank you!!
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glad to have you here!! im glad people can relate to some of the weirdly specific shit i write about tbh???
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i’m sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you; that a terrible situation
if you have a teacher you trust, i would absolutely bring it up to them. that is 100% not an ok thing for those kids to be doing. at all.
im glad you at least have your friends that support you! 
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:0 WAIT is this someone i know through ucsc?? :0 :0 :0
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HA 
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aaaa thank you! that is high praise ;v;
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i have no words; this is such a touching message. thank you so much ;v;
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this is belated but!! the main creative community i can recommend is kzsc, the radio station! i had a real cool time there, and its a great way to make friends and connect with ppl of all sorts! :0
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yeah, its totally normal! ive had roommates ive been super tight with, and roommates who i barely ever hung around with. its natural! i doubt you’ll finish college w/o finding a roomie that you get ~The Roomie Experience~ with though, even if its like a housemate or s/t!! ;0
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i’ve never been told that, actually! neat!! (and wow?? i cant believe i inspire ppl.... wow......... what a concept tbh??)
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oh yikes... i do hope youre feeling better :( im glad my comics can help a little bit at least!
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💕 💖 💞  💓  💗!!!
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HUGS
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i dont remember what this was in reference to, but good to know?
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also good to know!?
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i think the crows and jays do! i dunno about the squirrels and other birds. and thank you!!
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the youth gang..... i love it..... how good???!
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i wrote about getting yuri right here! he’s a southern alligator lizard and i love him to bits. 
heres a pic of the Long Boy doin his thing:
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hey neat! i’m glad youve chosen a lame you can be proud of!!💖
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ive never heard of that!! wow
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what play is this?? :0 :0 :0 im so curious now!!
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oh SHUCKS...,,,,,,,,,, ;v;
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hahahaha omg thank u
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i dont actually have any more of them interacting, unfortunately! the owl isnt one specific person, like a lot of my characters are meant to represent. the owl more represents as a whole all the people i run into in my life that i am very very gay for.
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thank you!!!
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youre very welcome! im glad you feel better!!!!
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aaa gosh thank you!!!
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hhhhfgh ive gotten less of it recently BUT YEAH that was bad times™️ 
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thanks for the info!!! :0
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no problem! a lot of the credit honestly goes to @fuckaspunk, who is always keeping me updated on that sort of stuff.
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i didn’t know that! a lot of the symbolism seems to come from multiple sources sometimes, from what ive seen?
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aaaa gosh omg thank you ;v;
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aw thank you???!!
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nice!!! oct 24 bdays go!!!
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thank you!! it really does mean a lot actually!!!!!!!
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of course?? antisemitism cant be ignored in this fight
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aw, thats so cute! id love to hear what headcanons you have tbh???
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hey thanks?! this is really cool to hear, tbh. i try to be positive most of the time, but im not going to like,,, kid myself when im not feeling it and im glad that other people can appreciate that too, ya know?
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wow!!
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(this one!) thank you i love that one too???!
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hey, im glad you found your way here!! thank you so much!!!
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aaaa ty! 
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hmmm i have two leopard geckos, and they made very good beginning lizards for me and aidan! but i would maybe ask someone a bit more experienced than me, like @kaijutegu​ or @wheremyscalesslither​!!
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thank you!!
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one day at a time! (but seriously, thank you!!)
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yummy yummy sauce...... ty!!!
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awww, gosh! thank you!?
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AAAA TY BOTH I GET SO SELF-CONSCIOUS ABT MY VOICE,,,,, ;o;
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:0 i havent watched that, but it sounds rly cool!!
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i like that fun fact a lot! ty!!
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pae stands for paerlin, which is what @fuckaspunk​‘s internet handle used to be! i used it to refer to them on my blog in secret back when they still didnt know i had a crush on them.... ;//v//;
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aaaaa thank you!!!  ;o;
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nice nice nice ty!!
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>:0 get back down here!! (jk that’s rly neat! highfive!!) 
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those are all good words that i like!! thank you!!!!
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i dont know anything about him, but i looked him up and i guess i can see it?!
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@fishcrow is really cool! ive never really interacted with them, but im p sure were mutuals...? anyway yeah their comics are rly cute and cool!
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that is me! thank you; i hope things go well for you as well!
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hello to you too!
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aaaa ty!!! tbh the number of nice anons i get way way way outnumbers the mean ones <3
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thank you! thank YOU for existing!
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:0 chocolate croissant, here i come!!!
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thank you!!!!!!💕
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its literally my pleasure!!!
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aaa ty!!! 💕💕
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hehe im glad! 
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sldf;j;sfjdklfdslfjs thank you so much?????? what a compliment omg gosh
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yeah!! i have a hard time on settling what class id be, but i feel like id be a heart player! 
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ohh um! im not sure which pens youre referring to, but if you mean the ones I use for my comics, i color them with Winsor & Newton ProMarkers, and I do the lines with a purple fine-point Sakura Gelly Roll Classic pen! i also use micron pens of all different sizes and colors in some of my non-diary comic art!
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aww thank you so much!!
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:0 :) :0 !!!!!!
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ty!!! ive grown to love him very much as well!!
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thank you! i hope you are doing well also!!
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i love them very much?!! id put a picture but i dont have one with all four of them so instead imagine me lying on the floor crying abt how much i love them bc thats me basically every day
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you dont mean......
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?!?!?!?!?!?!
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awwww ty!!!
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HEY WOW
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aaa gosh thank you!💕
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DOUBLE FOLLOW
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gay dragons combine the best of both very good things: gay and dragons. im glad you appreciate them w me tysm ;v;
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aaa what a lovely message! ty💕
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3rd-shift-working, depression-having, corvid-loving solidarity fistbumnp!!!!
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huh! ive never heard of that; ill check it out maybe!!
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ah im really glad? tysm!!💕
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my understanding is that it helps people who have text-to-speech readers? but im honestly not as well informed on that as i should be! 
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hell yeah!!!! 
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gosh!!!!!
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hnmngnhng youve probably already made a decision but i just gotta say.........shadow rulez
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delicious!!
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i havent!! i really want to though!
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oh man ALL THE TIME. i usually try to either reality check with someone i trust, or to do an activity thats easy and i know i can do, or both!
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i love andre and karl!!! its actually a huge influence on me and my art tbh??? 
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i had a good (and safe) trip! ty!!!
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hey, thank you!!!
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oh jeez thats bad :( i think this was in response to when i needed to wait between med refills?
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i cant give a precise reason, tbh! when it comes to whats lucky, i just sort of.... go with my gut, ya know?
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thank you!! 👍
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that sure sounds like insomnia! its almost hard for me to say tbh, bc ive had trouble sleeping for as long as i can remember, so NOT having trouble sleeping is bizarre and unrealistic to me haha... but i think the bottom line is, if its interrupting your daily routine and making it hard for you to have enough energy, then its something you should look into remedies for!
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:0 :0 :0
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ohhh how nice! ill give it a try! :>
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omg,,,, nope, just me!
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thank you!!!!!!
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honestly? thats such a good way to look at it i love the idea of my blog as a big zine
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always!!!!! go for it!!!
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hey, thank you so much!!!!!
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omg, thats so great! thank you!
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im so glad; thank you!!!
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thank you so much!💖 (and mexico, neat! i love hearing where people are following from??)
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aaaaaaaaaaaa ;//v//; thank you??? i get so happy whenever ppl tell me they like my singing aaaaaaa
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aw, hey, no worries! money is all well and good, but in some ways, messages like this mean just as much!
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its cool that comic gave you plural feels! im def not a system though :> 
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its tricky, isnt it? i still feel like im no good at it lmao
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LISTEN,,, there is a 99.9999% chance i wont notice, and a 100% chance i wont judge. reblog away! 
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THANK YOU ARENT THEY THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
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thank you!! i hope you have a good day as well!
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aaa ty!!💖
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aa ty! (what a cool name!!! im kind jealous ngl!)
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awww thank you💖
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i do my best! i just worry when im not active, bc i tend to connect my self-worth to my output (;^; )
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aaaaa ty!! 💖
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!!!!!!!!!!!! omg wow i love being called a pretty boy???? ty???????
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hey, neat! crow high-five!
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aw, thank you!!! 💖
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im doing my best! thank you so much, messages like this really help when im in a place like that tbh ;v;
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gosh this is so sweet? thank you so muhc !!?
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thank you all!! im sorry that saying thank you over and over sounds so repetitive, but i truely do mean it for every one of you!!!
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i am..... one of those things!
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well thank you!!
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ohoho~✨
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thank you! and honestly im sure it does??
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hey, cool! good for you!!!!!!! and ty!!
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aw gosh thank you!💖
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hey, wow! thats super cool; thank you so much!
(i dont follow the first person i followed on tumblr anymore.... they became a hockey blog rip haha)
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aaaah, thank you so much!!
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almost???
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i do!! drunken lullabies is an absolute banger!!!!!!!!!!
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i am!!!! thank you!!
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aw, ty!!! 💖
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hee hee, thank you! 
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my biggest tip honestly?? have someone who can be by your side to help you with... basically everything... during your recovery. bc trust me, i was n o t  a v a i l a b l e. i spent a lot of my recovery playing 2048 at the same time as watching tv, bc doing both at once distracted me from how much the bandages itched.
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thank you!! (i think this was in reference to getting top surgery!)
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how shitty??????? yikes. i hope your supervisor has your back??? bc wow????
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hey!!! thank you!!! i draw all my comics traditionally on paper! im not sure what you mean by the writing though? if you mean the word bubbles, i do those by hand on paper too!
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I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING,,,, im so happy ppl talk to me, but i get really nervous about saying the wrong thing. 
when i’m down, i usually crave validation. i like being reminded about things ive done right! i also like gentle reality checks, like, ‘hey: this is the situation, this is what we can do about it. ok? ok’
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i unfortunately dont have any!! i had a couple at one point, but they’ve since been lost to the depths of my old laptop. and hey, thank you so much!!
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now thats a nifty trick!! im terrible at telling all my white tablets from each other lmao
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!!!!!!! ITS ME!!!!!!!!
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maybe you just need some space? i know i sometimes temporarily block people i know, if i need some private space or if i dont trust myself to keep cool and solve problems constructively. do what you need to do to feel at ease, and go from there, ya know?
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thank you!!!
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its,,,, up somewhere above in this monster post lmao i,m so sorry,,,,
thank you so much!!!
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WOW NO WORRIES??,,,,,,,,, INCREDIBLE 10/10???????
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all four of these came right after i gave myself a hair cut and THANK YOU SO MUCH??? i live for validation and it feels so good to have my actions affirmed ;o;
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